#this will probably be how she's drawn going forward now that I have her locked in as a 3d model

[fluffyphocks]

her

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 73)

(Honesty, every chapter from here on out is probably going to be gross...)

“We have to get back to the bunker.” N dropped back into the nest suddenly, processors firing on all cylinders as he scooped Tera up in his arms, looking behind him occasionally.

“Woah, hey. We just got here, what's the rush?” Uzi cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, reaching up to hold his shoulder.

“I just ran into…something.” He choked out, stopping his frantic movement to look at her, he could feel his core trying to beat out of his chest.

“Descriptive clues babe.” She deadpanned, looking slightly irritated at his lack of detail.

“A zombie? I don't know how else to describe it! It was a drone, but dead, and not dead?!” He looked like he was grasping for straws fir a way to say it without sounding absolutely insane.

“It had weird, veiny tentacles all over it and a big one burst out like a weird creepy worm!”

Uzi blinked, before slowly laying back down onto the plush colored floor. “Uuuuuuuggh". A long-suffering groan left her mouth as she covered her face with her hands.

“Dammit. Come on, can't we catch a break?!” She complained to no one, grumbling irritability.

Tera was squirming in her father's arms, still wanting to play.

If it was any other time in her life, she would be flying down into the city and taking a look for herself, but now? She was in no condition to do much of anything physical, especially fight.

“I'll grab V and we'll do a sweep tomorrow, it came from in the direction of camp. Maybe theres something there?” He thought aloud, already drafting up a message to V. Uzi looked conflicted, wings fluttering as she took a long look out of the entrance to the nest.

“I don't like the idea of not going with you…”

“You need to stay where it's safe, I'm not going to risk you getting hurt. And… Tera needs her mom, in case something happens.” He added, words sounding thick and heavy. “Not that anything will! Just thinking logically.”

Uzi sucked in a wary breath, he was right and she hated it. She hated this situation, she hated this planet.

“Yeah.” She replied simply, worry creasing every one of her features as she looked back at him.

“It'll be okay, maybe it won't be that bad?”

…

N and V walked side by side, both drones on high alert as they made their way through the thick trees and hanging fog. The brightest lights being the ones attached to them, their headbands and tails glowing brightly.

“How do you keep finding this stuff?” V complained, raising an eyebrow as she walked slightly ahead of him with a sword drawn, she scanned the tree line ahead of them, squinting as she tried to make out any drone-like shapes.

“I wish I didn't…” N's tone was deadly serious. Something that caught V slightly off guard. N had always been the excitable, happy one. But here, with his gaze locked forward and him holding onto his inbuilt rifle. He looked a lot less like N and a lot more like J when she was leading a hunting party.

“Hey, uh, relax. There's nothing on this planet we can't deal with. We're the predators, not some stupid infected drones.” She smirked, making N crack a small smile before it was once again washed away by whatever internal battle he was having.

“Hey, V?”

“Mm?”

“Do you ever want kids?” He asked, and she stopped suddenly in her tracks. N raised an eyebrow as it looked as if she was stealing herself.

“No, It's too dangerous right now to think about.” She said before starting to walk forward again, her footfalls sounding heavier then they did before.

“I said ‘ever’ not ‘now’.” N hummed, being extremely curious about V's odd reaction to a question he'd assumed would be a straight ‘No’.

“N-no. I wouldn't be a good parent.” She replied, refusing to look at him as she did.

“What do you mean? You're great with Tera.”

“Tera's not mine. You two take care of her. Not me.” She sounded irritated, swiping her sword at a branch that had gotten in her way.

“I know you've been coming around more when I'm not home…”

V didn't say anything at that, only pushed her head down more as she walked forward, N sighed.

“I just wanted to thank you. Uzi could use the help, even if she won't admit it.”

There was silence for a few moments, before he heard a deep sigh come from in front of him.

“She's pregnant, it kinda just feels like my job. You know? Even if I still think you two are stupid.” She added, making him laugh nervously.

Snap!

A branch snapping underfoot startled them both, both drones looked around rapidly, tension rising to fever pitch almost instantly. N growled in warning, and despite him never hearing it out of her voice box before, so did V.

A drone came through the trees, hunched over and leaking oil from its mouth, it had been sliced in half at one point, because a large black vein was the only thing keeping it together. It’s arms outstretched towards V as in lumbered toward them.

“Oh that’s so gross.” V spat before slicing the drone in half again. Releasing the thick black appendage from its job of holding its host together, and sending it careening towards her outstretched arm, where it wrapped around and squeezed.

V screamed as tiny black veins snaked quickly up her arm, sending searing pain through all of her sensors and nearly sending her to the ground. She was in so much shock she almost couldn’t move,

N brought a sword down between the tentacle and her, blasting it to bits with an energy cannon until it was nothing but scrap. That didn’t stop the spiderwebbing of pain up her arm though. She watched in horror as her arm twisted up unnaturally and without her input, switching to a rifle aimed directly at N.

“N! Look out!” She cried out, N just barely moving out of the way as a stream of bullets left the tip of the rifle and dug themselves deep in a gnarled tree. Thinking quickly, N brought his sword down on her shoulder, severing it utterly.

The severed arm twitched erratically, switching between different weapons until N blasted it to smithereens as well, leaving nothing but scattered shrapnel and bits of undulating flesh.

“Are you okay!?” N leaned down and immediately pulled her shoulder into him, looking for more veins. V let out a stuttering breath, the burning pain was gone, taken along with her arm.

“Fine. It’ll regenerate. What the hell was that!?” She shouted, letting him fret over her only for another minute before pushing him off and standing. Watching her nanites fill the space with grey goo before solidifying into a new arm.

“That was the thing I saw yesterday! I didn’t know it could do that though!” He exclaimed, looking around just in case there were any more infected drones around. The trees were silent, but that meant very little.

“I think it’s the same thing that was in Dolls room… what happened to my arm happened to Uzi’s leg.” V huffed breathlessly, flexing her new arm before switching it to a flamethrower.

“Come on, and don’t let them touch you.”

The closer they got to camp. The warmer the air got, damp with the smell of iron and decay. They stood hip to hip, both wary of being grabbed from something unseen. When the clearing broke and they both stopped in their tracks.

Camp 98.7 was no more. A massive sinkhole had opened up from underneath, pulling in the surrounding buildings, a red mass of flesh surrounding the entire hole, pulsing. Black veins jutted across the ground, digging themselves deep within the planets very crust. The air was putrid, a too-sweet mixture of rot and garbage. Sharp, jagged teeth wrapped around the sinkhole’s circumference, and hundreds of very human eyes stared out in all directions.

The hole gurgled, the ground shaking slightly as the tendrils of black visibly spread across the ground, N and V both stepped back to avoid it touching them.

“Holy fuck.” V murmured, looking down at her very small looking flamethrower in comparison to this portal to hell “What do we do?” She looked at N for answers, something she wasn’t used to doing but felt right in the moment. He looked at her, eyes hollow before shaking his head, replacing his fear with determination.

“We need to see how big this is. We should fly over, see how deep this hole goes.”

V nodded, her wings unleashing as she launched herself up in the air to get a better look. N right behind her.

The sinkhole went down for miles, the inside crackling with yellow energy, the red flesh also went down for miles, teeth lining the inside like it was the mouth to some insanely sized creature. She could see black tendrils slinking around near the ‘bottom’, moving like a nest of coiled snakes.

“This is bad… this is really bad.” N looked at the surroundings, everything the tendrils touched became flesh, several trees that had gotten sunk in now had growths of bone growing out of them, jutting out randomly, the ground itself moved as if it had a heartbeat.

“N this is too big, I can’t even see the bottom of this thing.”

The hole gurgled again, the hundred of eyes suddenly focusing on the drones hovering high above it, N gulped, watching the nest of moving tentacles inside suddenly stop moving.

“We need to move.”

“Wh-“

“We need to move, now!”

N dragged V by the hand just in time when a gigantic mass of tentacles ripped out of the hole in their direction, trying desperately to grab them and drag them down into a gaping hellish maw. N kept heading upwards, pulling V along until they were safely out of reach. The tendrils continued to swipe at them, arching up high into the sky.

Both disassemblers looked down, watching as the flurry of movement slowly calmed down and the pit pulled back in its determined appendages, once again beginning to coil and slide within.

“What the hell do we do, this thing is spreading!? V exclaimed, looking out at the mile of transformed land and how quickly this petulance was spreading over it.

“I don’t know…” N replied, looking in the direction of the bunker not far from here.

Next ->

[shinycollarboneapologist]

gorgeous

ficlet to the taylor!verse, based on THIS request. or the day matty and reader met :D 

content: no p in v sex but still kind of smutty, HEAVY PETTING, tw: one direction mention, reader was in a disney channel tv show

“aren’t you from one direction?” it comes out before your inebriated brain can stop the neural impulse from floating to your lips. he stares at you, blankly, blinking only after he realizes you’re probably not joking.

the club is loud, he almost feels as if he’s misheard you. and it had been over an hour before he was able to actually catch your eye. he had been trying since he got here, wanting to be pulled under your ephemeral gaze. each time he thought you were going to finally give him the time of day, you would only pull your eyes away and fall back into a steady conversation with whomever was in front of you. matty normally never had to fight for attention, usually people would flock to him and tell him how good his music was, how intelligent he was. yet, here he was having to fight tooth and nail for you to even look at him.

now that he’s got your attention, undivided and slightly unnerving, he doesn’t want to let it go.

“fuck you’re mean,” he exhales, shaking his head.

and you laugh, head rolling back as you bring your voice down an octave, darkening the timbre of your words as you mock him.

“i do not sound like that.” the foreboding crinkle in his forehead and frown on his lips is lessened by the sparkle in his eyes.

“yeah, you do, actually,” you’re unrelenting in your teasing, hand coming up to touch his forearm, “but it’s okay.”

he scoffs, yet he’s unable to ignore the radiating feeling of sparks going up his arm as your hand touches his skin. he glances down at your manicured fingers, throat feeling tight as his mind drifts to a filthy place far away from the club and even farther away from where he wants to be with you. he downs the rest of his drink, imagining its you on his lips, and returns his gaze to your bright eyes.

“you know, i’ve actually been trying to talk to you all night,” he confesses.

“have you?” you ponder, tilting an eyebrow up.

he nods, cheeks flushing as he smiles bashfully like a child caught stealing a bite of dessert before dinner, “yeah. i have, actually.”

you’d be lying if you said you didn’t notice his stare from across the room. his eyes had been locked on you since you entered, drawn to your magnetic demeanor in the darkened haze of the club. taylor had mentioned that she invited someone she wanted you to meet and by the looks of her watching the two of you interact from the corner of the room, her wish was coming true.

“could tell actually, you’ve been staring at me all night,” conversing with him is playful, light, easy. you offer him your hand and your name. he gladly takes it, enjoying the way your soft skin feels against his.

“i know, s’kinda embarrassing but your poster is on my wall back home.” he’s gleaming down at you, twinkle in his eye, “i’m matty.”

“matty,” you repeat, returning his smile with one of your own. your hand lingers in his for a little longer than expected, and there’s a slight desire for you to tangle your fingers with his. you shake off the feeling though, letting your hands fall apart naturally. he eyes you, quirking his head to the side.

“can i get you a drink?”

you oblige happily.

one drink turns into two. which then leads to three and before you know it you’re giggling on a bar stool with matty standing in front of you. he’s radiant in the lights, thick lashes casting shadows on his cheeks, smile full and bright. his lips, pink and plush, are curled around his teeth. you’re well aware that you’re entranced by him, eyes loitering on his face for a little longer than acceptable. you can’t help it though, and also can’t help the way you lean forward and take his hand. 

“you’re gorgeous,” your words tumble from your lips before you can think of the repurcussions. 

he stops in his tracks, standing up a little straighter. you think you’ve fucked it royally, immediately your eyes widen and your jaw pops open and shut as you try to think of a way to remedy it all.

“me? darling, what about you? should see yourself.” there’s a hint of blush creeping up the skin of his neck. it matches the pigment of your nails and you’re reminding yourself to always pick that color to remember it by. 

you wave him off, but his hand encapsulates your wrist before you can finish the movement.

“i mean it, truly.” his lips, soft as silk, press to your heated skin. they’re warm, wet from way he kept licking over them before, and you’re warding off thoughts of the way they would feel elsewhere. you shift, thighs clenching. you hope he doesn’t notice. 

matty leans closer to you. his movements are slow, like water running over oil, and he’s perching himself up with one hand on the bar and the other on the barstool. his breath, tainted with the taste of the whiskey he was sipping, fans over your face as he exhales. 

thankful for the darkened aura of the club, you reach up and cup his cheeks in your hands, eyes searching his for any semblance of dismissal. there is none. and so you rally forward, leaning up to press your lips to his own. his lips are softer than you imagined, tasting of the remnants of his drink and the coolness of the ice cubes that once floated around. he lets you take the lead, hands settling onto your waist as you go to pull him impossibly closer. your body melts into him, arms slowly drifting to loop around his neck. 

in the hustle and bustle of the club, you feel still. everything seems to cease around you. he pulls back slowly, running his tongue over his bottom lip. 

“you wanna get out of here?” 

it’s a statement more than it is a question. the words are suggestive, hanging in the air like cobwebs. you watch as his eyes widen, similar to your actions prior. was he over thinking? did he over step? his tongue pokes out from between his lips again, licking over the skin. you want to do that. 

“what? you’re not going to wine and dine me first?” you counter, but you’re already slipping off of the bar stool and linking an arm in his. 

he laughs, shaking his head, “i bought you a few drinks, didn’t i?” 

matty lets you lead him out the back door. his hand is attached to your waist, guiding you as you make a bee-line for the car parked waiting for you both. he opens the door for you before your driver could even make his way around the car. 

you slip in, matty follows, and you situate yourself on the leather seats. he’s squeezing in next to you, a hand placed gently on your exposed thigh. your skin heats up as if its aflame, each stroke of his thumb makes you have to compress the thoughts that are infiltrating your brain. you want him, badly. and you have a funny feeling that he knows it. 

you’re both stumbling up to the door of the apartment, his hand seeking purchase on your waist once more. once the door is unlocked, you offer him a soft smile, “i apologize for the clutter. s’just been awhile since i’ve been home.” 

the door is pushed open and you lead him inside, letting him enter as you shut the door behind the both of you. there’s a gasp. and you’re thinking that maybe you read it all wrong. maybe he didn’t want to come inside. maybe-

“dude, no fucking way. you’ve got the original film poster for pulp fiction? signed too? that’s so sick.” 

you let out a listless laugh, hand resting on your chest, “it was a gift. from an ex.” your face scrunches up at the last revelation, shaking your head as his eyes somberly look at you, “s’fine though. his last movie bombed in the box office, so i guess we all get our karma somehow, right?” 

he nods but immediately turns back to the poster, still in awe. 

matty had heard all about the break up, knew exactly which ex you were referencing also. an older guy, one that made everyone turn up their noses and call you some god awful things on the internet. he knew the breakup was rough, too, it had come up in conversations between he and taylor before. he didn’t want to pry, though, so he just faked enthusiasm in the poster for as long as he could. 

“you want anything? a drink? water? a snack?” you call from the kitchen. matty’s not done with his snooping yet, eyes dragging all over the large living room. there’s shoes astray, polaroid pictures littering dark forest green walls, a colorful rug, a sweatshirt haphazardly thrown on the couch, and lots of plants. it feels lived in and normal. for being one of the top actresses in the world, rolling stone said this not him, you’re normal. 

“i’ll take some water, please.” 

he hears your hum of approval and the sound of you shuffling around in the kitchen. when you reappear, he notes that the heels on your feet were swapped for a very endearing pair of slippers. they’re pink, fuzzy and the bunnies have long ears that drag on the floor when you walk. matty can’t help but smile. his cheeks hurt so badly from the action, yet he hardly notices. you’re extending the glass of water out to him, perching yourself on the bar table that separates the kitchen from the living area. 

“thank you,” he nods his head at you and takes a long sip, eyes locked on you as he does. he watches as you squirm under his unrelenting gaze and his stomach flutters. 

you show him around, pointing out all of the pictures on the wall of family and friends. and he notices how those same walls are littered with the countless awards you’ve won, yet you don’t acknowledge them. he’s been in the presence of many a large celebrity before and those are usually the first things they point out. but you’re different. a cool sip of water in the heated tinsel town he’s come to be apart of. 

“what’s this picture?” he nods his head to a polaroid dated only a year or so prior. it’s blurry, darkened but he can make out the shape of your lips in the corner and a familiar head of blonde hair.

you groan, a flush creeping up your neck and to your cheeks. “my twenty-first. went to vegas with taylor and a couple of our friends and woke up in LA. don’t think i can ever look at vodka the same way again. it was not my best moment, i’ll tell you that.”

he laughs, a true belly laugh and bends backwards as you confess.

“how did you end up in LA?” he asks, finally able to gain his composure.

“you’re asking me as if i know! taylor says i paid off a pilot in a bar or something, which sounds a little too on brand if you ask me,” you muse, “but i got to see the sunrise from behind the hollywood sign, so that was nice.”

matty revels in the way you recall the memories. your eyes are gleaming, and in the darkened light of the hallway he can tell that you’re radiant, sheer beauty putting all of the stars he’s seen to shame.

you approach the doorway to your room and there’s a bit of apprehension as you turn over your shoulder to look at the curly-haired man behind you. he nearly falls into you as you stop short, his chest bumping into your shoulder. you pause. and swallow thickly, can feel his heart rapping against his chest. the vibrations reverberate through your body. it isn’t long until his eyes wander down to your lips again. 

“can i kiss you again?” he exhales. 

you nod quickly and before you can even open your mouth to say anything, his lips seek solace on yours. you sigh out, twisting in his grasp to assume more leverage. his hands trace over your body, grasping at your hips to pull you closer. your lips move in tandem with one another, soft sighs and hums of content echoing into each other. one of your arms wraps loosely around his neck while the other reaches down to find the doorknob. he nips at your lip, and you melt in his arms with a baited whine. you feel his lips curl up into a smirk against yours when you finally reach the door knob and twist it.

the both of you nearly fall into your room, but he’s got your waist in his hands to steady you against him. its only a few paces from the doorway to the bed. skillfully, he’s backing you up. his lips move feverishly against your own, parting only as your knees buckle and you fall onto the bed with the weight of his body collapsing ontop of you. 

“hey there,” you hum, moving your lips from his to slowly kiss your way down his exposed neck. his soft sighs ricochet through the heated air and you watch as goosebumps prickle up the skin of his arms. 

“feels nice,” he murmurs, tilting his neck up. you get better leverage then, using this to your advantage as you curl your lips to suck a deep purple mark at the base of his neck. matty moans. and you swear to yourself that its the prettiest sound you’ve heard all night, maybe even your whole life. his hands travel from your waist, up towards your concealed chest. 

“can i take this off?” he’s tugging at the hem of your shirt. you nod quickly. 

matty wastes no time in ridding you of the shirt and makes quick work of the bra that’s keeping you from him. 

“fucking hell,” he all but whines, leaning down to press his lips to your heated skin. his lips do anything but ease the heat erupting underneath your skin, instead they illicit more heat in their wake. “you’re fucking gorgeous.” 

a large palm cups at the mound of one of your breasts while his mouth leaves heated kisses along the other. his tongue jets out, flicking at the tender budded skin of your nipple before he envelopes the sensitive bud into his mouth. a gasp falls from your lips. he’s toying with it between his teeth, sucking it around. your hips buck up and into him. 

he alternates between the two, loving the way you writhe and buck against him. there’s a fire burning deep within you, the totality of it all being blissfully ignored between your legs. 

“need more,” you sigh out. matty peers up at you. he’s moved on to kissing down your stomach and shuffling your pants down your legs. a wry smile tugs at his cheeks. 

“patience is a virtue.”

“do you want me to beg for it?”

the thought of you on your knees and begging for him has his cock jumping in his pants. he blinks a few times, “while the offer may be nice, the sight of you on your knees might make me cum in my pants.” 

a breathy laugh falls from your lips, reaching down to run a hand through his hair. 

“meant it when i said you were gorgeous,” your thumb traces down the center of his face, pulling at his bottom lip. his eyes are wide and doe-like. he captures your digit in his mouth, nipping at the tender pad. its enough to make you shudder. his lips are puffy and swollen, reminiscent of all of the kissing and biting and longing. a pink flush rises from his neck, similar in color to the shade of his lips. it only exacerbates your point. 

“you gonna let me have a taste?” he asks, his breath fanning out over your clothed core. 

"please,” you hum through a baited breath. 

he groans in response, tapping the side of your thigh whilst removing the soaked lace from your skin. matty spreads you open between his fingers, dipping his finger into the sticky honey pouring out from you. he pops the digit into his mouth, eyes rolling back. “taste so good. wanna taste you directly from this pretty little cunt though.” 

you barely have a second to reply in anything but a moan as he loops his arms under the bend of your knees, mouth latching onto your cunt almost immediately. he’s insatiably sucking and licking and nipping. you wail out as his teeth run over your senisitve (and up until this point ignored) clit. he flicks his tongue over the bud soothingly, lips curling around to suck on it. the fact that there’s no rhythm almost gives it a rhythm. you buck your hips up against his mouth, wanting more, craving more. he’s devouring you like a man starved and you’re happy to be his last meal. 

“feels so good,” you sigh out through a combination of a choked sob and a moan. matty smirks against you, bringing a finger up and slipping it in. he crooks it up, finding the spot inside of you almost immediately. you have half a mind to ask him where he found out about it. you had heard stories from friends of friends through the grapevine, but nothing prepared you for anything quite like this. 

“gonna let me fuck you?” he pulls back slowly, quirking an eyebrow up at you. his lips shine in your juices, pupils blown out and hair wild from the fingers you’ve been raking through it. matty’s finger relentlessly works in and out of you and he’s adding a second before you can even reply. 

“yeah. want you to fuck me,” you moan. his thumb connects to your clit and he continues to work into you, his fingers rubbing over the spongy spot over and over. your eyes roll back into your head, letting the shockwaves of pleasure radiate through your body. 

matty’s reaching for his wallet with his unoccupied hand. his incesscant rhythm has slowed down, leaving you without much relief. he leans over your sweaty writhing body upon getting his wallet, to press a kiss to your lips. its messy. and he tastes like you- heady and sweet. you buck into his fingers, slowly beginning to fuck yourself against them. his jaw goes slack and he pulls back to watch the scene below him. he’s distracted by you, entranced in the way you push and pull yourself on his fingers, thoughts clouding by the way this exact scene would play out with you on his cock (which twitches in the constraints of his pants).

you’re moaning out for him, eyes locking on his own as you feel your release begin to creep up on you. its slow and impending, all you need is a little push-

“fuck!” 

his expelative jossels you from your impending high. you blink a few times and stop the movement on his fingers, chest rising and falling. 

“w-what’s wrong?” you exhale heavily, worry crossing your face. 

you’re half expecting you to tell him that he’s got a girlfriend or he’s changed his mind or you’re not exactly what he wanted or he’s got to go. 

“i don’t have a fucking condom. could’ve swore i put one in here.” the look on his face is almost laughable. matty’s gone pale, despite the heat induced flush on his chest, and his eyes are locked on the empty pocket of his wallet. 

you let out a giggle that has his eyes snapping back to yours, “i have one. let me just..” you blush a bit as you dismount his fingers, rolling over to open the night stand next to your head. there, tucked in the corner is a box of condoms. you silently cheer and drag it towards you. you don’t remember it feeling this light when you bought it. maybe you went through more than you- 

“fuck!” the box is empty when you turn it upside down on the bed.

matty is exasperated, looks as if he’s about to cry and you’re sure you don’t look much better. 

you flop back onto the bed dejectedly covering your eyes and letting out a loud groan. “this is-”

“i know.” 

“i can’t believe.”

“i know.” 

the bed dips in next to you and he brings a hand up to cup your cheek, “we can make it work though? quite liked the way you felt on my fingers and that little scene you made fucking yourself on them? nearly came in my pants.” he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your cheeks, “so why don’t we have our fun now. and tomorrow morning, i’ll go out get us a nice new box that we can tear through?” 

“who says i’m letting you sleep over?” 

he cocks his head to the side, “i’d like to see you try and kick me out of your bed when i’m done with you.” he begins his descent down your body once more. 

“that’s a promise.” 

[write-ur-wrongs]

The Set Up

Fic prompt from @always-and-forever-alone : I was wondering if you could write a store of reader, being called a monster for most of her life, and he either telling her she's not or saying something well it's happening(in he's way, because let be honest he probably wouldn't say it directly, God forbid he cares)

A/N: not proofread or beta-ed. I really wanted to get this one out today so I am going down with my typos. I had another idea in the works for this but this idea snuck up on me as I wrote. I honestly might keep working on v1 to post eventually but here's this one for now! :) ______________________________________________________

“What the fuck, Jaskier?” you screamed, your voice overlapping with the immense witcher standing across from you, who said the same thing.

When your longtime friend had asked you to come into town to meet a friend of his, you’d been hesitant. Life wasn’t kind to non-humans, and it certainly hasn’t been very nice to you. But you’d known Jaskier for years, and he’d never given you any reason to think he’d hurt you. Until now of course.

“Woah! Hey,” Jaskier, to his credit, sounded about as panicked as you felt, “please both of you just sit down and let me – Geralt put the sword down for fuck’s sake.”

You tore your eyes off the white-haired brute, his merciless grip easing off the hilt of his still-sheathed weapon, and chanced a glance at your supposed friend. There was a little bit of sweat on his upper lip, his eyes were wide, and he had his arms outstretched between the two of you, palms down – pacifying? He looked nervous but not guilty.

Why the fuck doesn’t he look guilty? You thought, confusion and hurt mingling bitterly in your stomach.

Wait. The witcher – Geralt? – yelled at Jaskier too. Why the hell was he pissed? Maybe Jaskier expected he kill you for free, or maybe he was on some kind of vacation and resented the job.

You set your eyes back on him, still refusing take a seat at their table, and your breath caught in your throat as his harsh, cat-like eyes, met and held your gaze.

“Y/N,” Jaskier said, waving you forward with the hand closest to you, “please sit. Let me explain.”

“Explain what?” you hissed, “How you hired a witcher to kill me?”

“Kill you?!” Jaskier and, confoundingly, Geralt, said in unison.

“Come on,” Jaskier continued, softening his tone and looking from you to his guest, “you know I would never do that. I have no reason to do that. Please, just sit.”

Fighting every instinct, you pulled up a stool from an adjacent table and joined the pair. Your heart was beating into your ears but you figured the witcher wouldn’t make his move in the middle of a busy tavern so you should be safe – for now.

***

Geralt watched the woman sitting across from him with growing curiosity.

When the bard had told him he was looking forward to introducing him to a friend of his in town, he’d rolled his eyes. Jaskier was always trying to introduce him to women he knew, women he hoped would sway and soften him up a little. It was exhausting, infuriating, and frankly, a little embarrassing. Geralt didn’t need any help in that department and he definitely didn’t share Jaskier’s taste in partners.

But this woman was nothing like the others. For starters, she wasn’t human. Geralt could sense her power even before she entered the tavern, his medallion vibrating in warning against his chest. When she entered, he took immediate notice of the way every candle got brighter, each flame now leaning toward her slightly, drawn in by her power.

She must have been a fire elemental of some kind, he’d thought. Or maybe a sorceress who’d given into the Power brought by fire. Either way, Geralt couldn’t take his eyes off her.

His fascination had only grown when she spotted Jaskier from across the room and her guarded face erupted into a wide and open smile. A smile that turned defensive as soon as she locked eyes with him over the table.

She bared her teeth and sent a surge of power through the room, flames flickering around them. How did Jaskier even meet this woman?

“What the fuck, Jaskier?” he said, pushing up from his seat and reaching for his sword, a confusing mix of defensiveness and jealousy settling in his gut. How and where did his soft, flowery friend meet someone like this?

***

“Okay, first of all, thank you both for agreeing to this.”

“I would never have agreed had I known –”

“Jaskier you son of a –”

“Okay, sorry! Sorry! That was a mistake, I admit that, I’m sorry,” Jaskier said, rambling, “but look, Y/N, you’re always saying how you wished you could find someone who saw you for who you are and not what you are.” He turned to you as he spoke, cupping his hand gently over your elbow, urging you to uncross your arms.

“And Geralt, please don’t kill me for this,” he blurted, placing his other hand next to the witcher’s on the table, “you’re too lonely for your own good, and I thought maybe if you met Y/N, someone who could match you, you could, I don’t know…”

“Wait,” you interrupted him, laughing despite yourself, “you’re saying this is a romantic set-up and not a,” you brought your hand across your throat in a mock-slice, “murder-for-hire set-up?”

“Now, wait, hang on. Why would I kill you?” Geralt said, speaking over your realization defensively, as if he didn’t reach for his sword when you made eye contact. “I’m a witcher, not a damned assassin.”

“Because I’m,” you hesitated and glanced around you to make sure no one was looking before briefly demonstrating by drawing a flame up in your hand and extinguishing it just as quickly. Jaskier was looking at you so softly, his eyes betraying the way he pitied you, but Geralt? He was looking at you like you’d just juggled the bread rolls on the table rather than summoning fire.

“Why would that be reason enough to kill you? You’re not a monster.”

“Tell that to every village I’ve ever dared to call home.” You scoffed.

“Geralt can relate!” Jaskier said, jumping in far too loudly and with too much exuberance. “People have been wrongly treating him like a monster for years!”

“Jask!” Geralt hissed, looking pissed and, wait, was he embarrassed?

“Sorry!” he squeaked, throwing up his hands as he got up from the table. “I am going to get us another round, the two of you… get to know each other.”

You watched your idiot friend rush over to the bar for a beat before rolling your eyes. “I can’t believe he did this.”

“We could take him if we team up,” Geralt said, a mischievous glint shone in his eyes when you looked back at him.

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you then, nor could you stop the blush that crept up your neck when you saw the witcher’s face break into a wider smile.

“Yeah,” you breathed, uncrossing your arms so you could lean over the table toward Geralt conspiratorially, glowing under his open and earnest gaze, “I think we’d make a good team.”

[liquidstar]

april fools is over so now im going to be slash srs instead of slash j. im going to post a little excerpt from one of the oc writing practices ive been doing :) again im not super experienced for a variety of reasons but im doing my best here.

but im going to try and put my self conciousness to the side (thats probably an important part of the practice too, right?) since this isnt final version either way, i can just say im sharing a WIP! so for now it will go the way of most of my other oc stuff..... under the cut

the only context you need is that this would be the opening scene for the story. if i post others i'll have to give more context bc most of them are taken from the middle of something. anyway here goes:

-----

“I love you

I've loved you since the beginning

From when you were only stardust

To when you will rejoin the stars

When everyone will be together again

Understand, you don’t simply live in the universe

You are part of it, taking on a form uniquely alive

You are the universe giving love back to itself

I love you so much”

“Wait!!!”

A lone girl jolts awake, crying a plea into the empty air. Tears stream down her cheeks, as she calls for someone she doesn't know. Her heart aches with a nameless yearning that fades with the memory of her dream. Still, against her will, the emotions linger. A profound sense of love consumes her, an agonizing, grieving love, meant for her. She sighs and wipes away her tears. It was an absurd dream, a ridiculous notion.

As her conscious mind clears, she takes in her surroundings; a forest drowned in the pale blue light of dawn. Her sleeping bag, now encased in dew, was laid on the cold grass. She sits for a while, gazing at the faint sliver of the rising sun’s glow with an indistinct expression, and eventually stands up.

The lone girl begins her daily routine by braiding her hair. With a wave of her hand, she freezes dew on a rock, creating herself a mirror. Her fingers carefully weave her brown locks into a braid, now adorned with a snowflake clip and a scarlet ribbon. She throws on a long blue half-skirt over her shorts, matching her shirt. She forces on a pair of black boots and cuffs on her arm. Lastly, she grabs a moon-themed spear, and she's ready for the day.

Before setting off, she made sure to pack all her belongings, including her numerous hand-drawn maps and a compass. However, she also stops to look into the bag deeper, foolishly expecting to find something new. Instead, she only sighs, "Still no food."

She puts on the backpack and trudges forward anyway, ignoring the hunger pains as best she can. She hums to keep herself distracted.

As she walks, the trees tower above her, shrouding the horizon and taunting her. Birds occasionally fly into view, but seem to disappear in an instant. She wonders if her eyes are playing tricks on her.

The lone girl scribbles on her maps, trying to record a labyrinth of identical tree trunks and twisted paths. This proves useless, as this elliptical forest has her going in circles. Exasperated, she fidgets with her compass, only to see the needle is frantically twitching around. She presses it gently to her forehead and quietly complains, “Don't tell me you're broken…”

Her train of thought was cut short by the sudden sound of running water, so loud she can’t fathom how she’s only now begun to hear it. She decided to put off one problem for another. Following the sound through some shrubs, she quickly finds the source.

Her spear at the ready, she approaches the stream. Scanning its depths for signs of fish, she walks cautiously. Her posture was awkward, her expression was uncertain, betraying her lack of experience. She held her spear to her chest with both arms as she encroached the water’s edge.

She inhales in preparation, removes her skirt and boots, and enters the water with slow, careful steps. The very surface of the stream begins to freeze as it makes contact with her skin. Tiny, thin crystals of ice form as she steps further in. Breathing deeper, as she tries to control the frost, she makes her way to the center of the stream. She stands waiting for fish.

Rather than throwing her spear to hunt, like the intended purpose, she stabs at the water. She’s not good at this, however, and only ends up scaring other potential prey away. She makes several attempts at this but is unsuccessful each time. Refusing to quit, her repeated strikes become more desperate and uncoordinated with each failure. Her growing frustration only makes the water freeze deeper, eventually solidifying around her legs. She yelps, now in a panic, and begins to frantically stab at the ice to free herself.

A mess.

Escaping this ordeal, the lone girl abandons any further attempt at fishing. It probably isn't her calling anyway. She trudges on, lost, wet, cold, and hungry.

She looks at her compass again, her face reflecting in its glass. “You're broken,” she tiredly states, as she feels her eyes begin to well with tears.

“No! No no no! Don't cry! Don't cry Polaris,” The lone girl, Polaris, reassures herself, “Last time you cried you froze your eyelids shut, and that really hurt,” She whines aloud.

Polaris takes a deep breath, slaps her cheeks, and swallows her tears. She elects to follow the river, her only hope of escape, pursuing the promise of a village just beyond this enigmatic forest. She daydreams of a warm meal in a cozy restaurant, and maybe a cold desert too. A glimmer of determination returns to her stride, as she continues her hum from before.

[littlemisswriter]

Saving London - Part 5

Summary:

Now with a gauntlet, it really seemed that the sky had been the limit for Jacob as he could reach new heights with his new gift. The mechanism was not accepted lightly, especially when presented from the woman he had admittedly grown quite attached to over time. Had she too begun to feel for the young man that showed nothing less than promise to her gang? Perhaps there was only one way to find out.

-

The night was clear and there appeared to be more people out on the streets than expected. A carriage had made its way through the streets, a pair of Rooks acting as its escort as Lily and Jacob sat inside. She hadn’t usually been the one perched on the inside, and truthfully told she hadn’t been on a carriage that had not been damaged in some way often. But the ride was pleasant, seeing as she had rather good company.

Her eyes drew from the window over to Jacob who sat across from her, attention on his new gauntlet as he inspected it on his lap. He appeared quite happy to have the new contraption, and that in turn had pleased Lily, even if she hadn’t voiced it so openly. There was no denying that the man had become a soft spot to her, but she didn’t know what to do with that feeling. So, she kept some distance and just admired from afar, it had been safer that way.

“Your gauntlet,” Jacob spoke up, catching Lily’s curiosity as he pointed to hers, “is there anything else other than a blade on it? Besides a hook that throws you atop buildings?” She chuckled as he bore a small cheeky grin, quite liking how relaxed he was becoming around her.

“It doesn’t just throw you atop buildings. It also flings you across them too.” Jacob blinked back as he ran his finger over the tip of the hook. “But that is something for another day.” Her body pulled to sit straight before him, both feet planting directly on the ground as she brought her weapon between them. “I probably shouldn’t show you every contraption I have. But,” she shrugged, “I guess no one’s particularly asked.” Once again, she flicked her hidden blade out between them, the sound of the weapon unsheathing had been nothing less than satisfying. “This is my blade, obviously.”

“Used often, undoubtedly.” Jacob joked, eyes tearing between hers and back to the glistening weapon.

“Undoubtedly.” She agreed sarcastically, the cheekiness in her tone flushing a touch of warmth throughout Jacob’s chest. Then sheathing the blade back into its compartment, she turned her left wrist upwards. “Then there’s the grappling hook beside it, and brass knuckles embedded onto it. The gold was a personal choice.” And gold did in fact compliment the look. “And this is a dart gun.” It had been across the top, the feature positioned well beneath the knuckles. “It releases poison against my enemies.”

“Poison?” The technology on this weapon seemed so advanced. Jacob had almost actually begun to feel sorry for anybody that crossed Lily’s path, unsuspecting of the weapons on her gauntlet. Almost.

“A hallucinogenic dart. Makes Blighters go mad and turn on each other so I don’t have to.” Fascinated, Jacob reached forward without thinking, wanting to touch such a weapon. And Lily could see how drawn he was to it all but had grabbed his wrist gently before he could go further. He looked up, not realizing he had physically insinuated a closer look without asking its holder. But she had not thought twice, just lightly smiling at him. “Careful there, wouldn’t want you to break it and start ripping out those glorious locks of yours.”

Jacob’s brow in turn raised at her compliment, the assassin not realizing the compliment as anything but a joke.

“So you think my locks are glorious?” He took his hand back to lift his hat and ran a hand through it. Luckily he had been easy to jump on the joke, though it was no matter none the less. “I would not fault you for noticing such a thing.” Lily laughed, a genuine laugh as she sat back, hands in her lap while shaking her head.

“A jokester I see. How refreshing.” Their playful banter eased the atmosphere around them. Jacob not knowing where they were going yet content to sit in the confined space with Lily just a little longer. Until a sudden knock on the top of the carriage pulled both of their attention.

“We’re here Miss Harvard.” Lily looked out the window once more to see the Rook’s words ring true. And she grinned before exiting the cart. Jacob was close behind, allowing his sights to set in on where they actually were. And before him stood the grand tower in all its beauty.

“Stay here until we return.” Lily instructed as Jacob looked back at her slowly.

“Big Ben?” She nodded, seeming all too pleased with herself as she came by his side, sharing the view of the Elizabeth Tower itself.

“Indeed. I remember you mentioning it once or twice.” She had actually remembered their short conversations before? Surely a woman running a gang throughout London would have better things to transfix her attention to. And yet here they were. “Well come on, you cannot stand here all night gawking at it. I have better plans.” With a swallow and a nod, he followed her past the gates and through the courtyard.

Wait… then what were they here for? It couldn’t possibly be…

“We’re going to climb that thing?” Jacob breathlessly asked, a shrill running through his spine as Lily looked to him humorously.

“No. But we will fling ourselves up the side of it.” His heart begun to beat out of his chest as Lily laughed, his expression was priceless. “Do not fear, Jacob. I have faith in you. Now come on.” She patted his shoulder as they continued through the arched walkway. “Now, getting to the first rooftop is easy enough, just like we trained. But alongside the tower will be a bit more difficult. Just aim a little higher and give it a tug. It’s a longer way up but if done properly, it’s just like any other building.”

Coming to their first stop, Lily stood across the wall and focused her attention onto Jacob completely. She had done this so many times that it seemed easy enough like jumping a top a train or into the river Thames. But Jacob looked as if some colour had drained from his face, a little terrified to be honest. And she realized that what was easy for her hadn’t necessarily been easier for others. She had adapted to being on her own for so long and eliminated the thought of being limited that she had almost forgot.

“Jacob,” she muttered, turning to put her hand to his shoulder, seeming to pull him out of whatever trance he was stuck in, “I believe you have the strength to do this. Not just out here,” she gestured to his physic, “but also in there.” She motioned to his head. His mind. “I’ve never brought anyone else here, and I didn’t really expect too either. You have what it takes, I know you do. But you also have to believe that.” He swallowed back hard as she looked between his hazel eyes, trying her best to calm any internal doubts he had. “It’s your choice.”

There had been a real possibility that Jacob would turn down the chance to rope launch up Big Ben, and thinking about it, Lily knew any sane person would. But deep down she had hoped that the hidden fire buried within the man would prove her wrong. She knew once he had overcome this obstacle, that there was a real possibility that he could advance into the Creed. But she had to be certain. She’d never taken a chance on anybody like this before, and hopefully her mind would agree with her heart when it was proved right.

Lily stepped back, aiming her grapple upwards. “You need to decide who you are.” He hadn’t known that she believed in him so deeply. What she was offering was overwhelming, sure. But it was also a chance. A chance to prove that there was more to life than what he knew. And for the first time, he could openly chase it without confines.

The assassin launched the rope with ease, pulling herself up to the roof and exhaling a breathe she was holding back. There she stood waiting. Hoping that Jacob would meet her up there. Her arms crossed her chest as she stood a moment, before hearing the clip of the grapple before watching Jacob pull himself up beside her. And she couldn’t help but smile.

She knew it.

Jacob’s heart beat out of his chest as he gazed up the rest of the way before looking back at Lily. She seemed genuinely happy to see him there, and it’s as if most of his nerves faded away. Who knew a person could have an affect on him as they did. It made his mind churn about everything including Lily. Why she had caught his eye and proceeded to infatuate his mind as she did. There was only one simple answer to it all, but could it be true? Was he able to feel for a person as deeply as he did so quickly? But seeing her smiled directed at him had confirmed all he had questioned, and a rush of adrenaline coursed through him in eagerness. This was who he was, and Lily helped him realize that.

“I’m glad to see you here.” Her body turned, eyes not tearing from his just yet. “Come.” They stepped forward, shoulder to shoulder as they looked to the top of the tower. The winds were easier to feel on higher ground, but they were about to get crazier. “Just watch and follow.” She crouched, eyes intent on her target as she took a moment, face focused as she withdrew a deep breathe before launching. The rope wavered through the air for a moment, the assassin offering Jacob a quick wink before suddenly pulling herself up. He watched in awe as she scaled up the building, losing sight of her eventually through the darkness.

Then a beat of silence, Jacob silently hoping she had made it up safe though there was no doubt she had. A moment where everything became silent, his heartbeat bumping through his ears. Until he heard her. “Come up, Jacob!” She called rather loudly, seeing as there had been quite the distance between them. His adrenaline rushed through again with a smile, copying as she did and doing his best to navigate through the dark.

“Come on, Jacob, you bloody crazy idiot. This is all you.” And with a similar exhale, he launched, holding steady to his gauntlet as the hook sored through the dark. A clamp followed by resistance told him he had landed it securely, swallowed the hardest breathe he’s ever taken before tugging at the mechanism.

He was thrown off his feet, both legs apart as he was taught while his feet slipped upside the building to steady himself. The wind rushed past his ears, deafening him to anything else as he ascended to new heights. His heart beat out of his chest as he came closer to the top, still unable to grasp what he was doing. But eventually he saw a dark figure peeking over the edge, and boy did he fling himself tightly to the side once he made it to the top.

“Holy shit!” He yelled, scrambling his feet as Lily helped yank him onto solid ground once more. He panted on his hands and knees, blinking back at the realization of what he had just done. Lily knelt beside the man, pride in her chest as she put a hand to his shoulder once more. “Holy shit…” He slowly lifted his head beside him, Lily smiling as she had done before. “Holy shit, Lily. Holy shit!” He began laughing as he pushed himself to his feet, running his hands through his hair before realizing his hat must have flown off at some point. But he wasn’t too worried in this moment. “I cannot believe I just-incredible!” He took both her hands in his as he laughed victoriously, running to the side to look back at where he had just been flung from.

But his sights slowly averted to over the city for the first time. He was gobsmacked by the view, the view he had been dreaming about witnessing first hand for a while. His breathe caught in his throat as he stood for a moment soaking it all in. And Lily slowly came by his side, grinning knowingly as she leant against the rest as she soaked in all that was London also.

It was a view she had seen before but having Jacob beside her had somehow made it all the better. She could finally share it with somebody. The pair stood in silence as they just looked across everything they knew. Lily giving it a short while before peeking at Jacob once more, the grin on the mans face was one she was coming to admire. Perhaps if he had followed her this far, then maybe it was time she had opened up a little bit. The man had surely earnt it.

“The first time I came here,” she began looking back over everything, “I was helping a friend of mine. He has this passion for freedom of speech, and ideas that will advance us into a new age.” Jacob turned, leaning on his forearm as he looked between the woman and the view. “It’s actually the same friend that helped me with this.” She lifted her gauntlet up to inspect it, smiling to herself as she did so. “He’s one of the smartest men I know, actually. And he deserves more credit than he’s given.” There was a glint in her eye, a recollection of the respect she held for her ally. “Coming up here had given me this sense of freedom I hadn’t felt in a long time. Something about being at this altitude is exhilarating.”

Jacob listened intently, seeming to be captured by every word she spoke. It was genuine and heartfelt. Truly it had been the first time that he had seen Lily so relaxed and honest since he met her. But as she processed her thoughts in her head, her smile slowly began to fade as she let her arm lie limp against the side once more, sighing in somewhat defeat as she lowered her guard. Jacob frowned.

“But the truth is, is that I always do things myself. Of course, I have allies that help me every step of the way. But when it comes to matters that actually need some form of action in changing the course of history, I do it all alone. And sometimes,” she took a moment, shrugging as she fumbled with her fingers, “sometimes I wish I had somebody alongside me. I know it sounds bleak with the life I live, but there are moments I wish I could share.” This raw emotion was new to Jacob. One he hadn’t imagined seeing Lily show, and even deep down, one he had been scared to show himself. He could make sense of her words though; running a gang alone and fighting oppression could become much. And it appeared that sometimes, someone could need somebody. A simple thing of companionship could go a long way.

“Perhaps,” he spoke up in a whisper, “you don’t need to be alone anymore.” His words making sense of the situation before his mind could. Lily tilted her head slightly, motioning that she was listening even if her gaze was elsewhere. “That maybe, there is somebody out there that wants to be by your side.” Her interest was peeked, slowly looking at him as she stood straight once more, turning her body to face his with her own. He held down his nerves, his sentences unravelling the truth of what he kept inside. He had come this far, so he supposed that there was no going back now.

Jacob was fond of Lily, that there was no denying. And with each day it seemed that his feelings had only grown with it, for his boss. She was an incredible woman, that was obvious. And he would be so lucky to be by her side if she gave him the opportunity.

Eyes now locked onto one another as he threw himself all in. It was all or nothing now. So he bit back his nerves and took a step forward, closing the distance between them. Lily hadn’t moved, seemingly glued to the spot as she watched the situation turn into something more intimate. Her thoughts ran just as wild as his did. The rampant images twirling through her head as she silently kept watch on Jacob eliminating the space between them.

It would be an adamant lie if she hadn’t admitted to herself that she thought about Jacob more than she cared to admit. There was no denying a connection between them, and how her spirits seemed to lift more often than not whenever he was around. Surely she knew that eventually this would happen one way or another, yet she couldn’t help but freeze all the same.

Their eyes looked between one another as Jacob’s would graze down to her lips every so often. It had been obvious his intent, and the thought had quickened both heart beats tremendously. She couldn’t initiate though she couldn’t pull away either, her emotions very prominent as they ran through her mind and right down to her body; her fingertips etching as her legs felt they would shake or give out if given the chance. Was it actually possible for the assassin to have caught feelings for the Rook?

“You’re very beautiful,” Jacob muttered, allowing himself to speak and feel what he had been hiding for a long time. His arm slipping out onto the ledge beside her, palm flat instead of balled as he noticed no sign of her retraction, it was a better reaction than what he was expecting though it seemed he wasn’t in the clear yet. “And I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I cannot deny it any longer. You…” He swallowed back. “You have ignited this fire inside of me that itches for more. Given me a purpose that doesn’t make me feel helpless. It’s wonderful… you’re wonderful.” She was the type of woman you didn’t meet twice, so he would make it known now before he missed his chance completely to tell her.

It was all sudden, like a lump in her throat that rendered her speechless for the first time in a long time. He was so close and very open to the thing she hadn’t allowed herself to indulge in. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

“I have grown feelings for you, Lily.” He finally mustered out. “And I wanted you to know,” his mind then took a turn as nerves flourished throughout his being, “but if you don’t reciprocate these feelings for me, than you can push me away and I will never try another advance again. I-I hope you won’t but I will not force myself onto you.” He was almost spluttering, now balling his open palm as he mentally smacked himself to return his focus onto what mattered.

So he swallowed back hard and pulled his face close enough where their breathes were felt against one another. Seeing Jacob this close had Lily truly look upon every inch of him properly. Jacob was attractive, there was no denying that, and every dint and crevice to him had him all the more appealing. Then, a brush of his fingers came to her arm, shooting a valve of electricity through her. She could feel a slight shake to his touch, his nerves driving him out of his own mind, but he was too captured in the essence that was Lily to pull away. His was mere inches, eyes slowly closing as he went to close the gap between them.

It had Lily think hard. It wouldn’t be terrible to let him press his lips to hers, but that would signify their union officially. Everything would change, and she didn’t know if she could do that with many words being unsaid between them first. Jacob hadn’t known her truly, of who she actually was and how deep her line of work actually was. There was nothing but pure temptation to kiss him as much as he wanted in that moment. But if she were to without being openly honest with him or even herself first, then it would be like it all meant nothing; like he meant nothing. And obviously he had not meant nothing to her.

She could not do that to him.

Jacob could practically feel his lips on hers, to enraptured in the moment that he might finally be able to do the one thing that he had admittedly been thinking of the moment his mind went elsewhere. But, much like a hidden blade to the chest, his heart sunk when he felt her hand to his chest. It halted his movements, his eyes blinking back at the sudden action to look between her own. They were so close, which made it harder for Lily to watch the hurt spread across his face. His eyes told all and it churned a pull in her chest knowing that she had been the one to make him react in such a way.

Embarrassment flooded through him as he leant his head back, clearing his throat awkwardly at how he had so clearly put himself out there to be rejected. It was a stab to the heart that had him freeze to the spot, much rather than throwing himself off the tower to the ground out of pure humiliation. But he could see it though, how he was not the only one that had been affected by the rejection. Lily too wore a regretful expression, not wanting to stop him as she had, and creating an awkward tension by her decision.

These emotions were all too much, especially running down her spine with a cold chill when Jacob had hesitantly step away, creating distance between them. She couldn’t deal with it all and turned her gaze back over to the city. The wind was suddenly louder and the breeze even colder now, there was no denying it. A silence sat between the two as she did her best to muster any coherent sentence in her brain to soften the blow. Like mental preparation for a gang war, she forced her expression to become flat and monotone, hoping her voice would match it.

“You deserve better.” She muttered, refusing to look at Jacob as he kept his stare on her. It was like he couldn’t look away, something of a statue as the hurt hadn’t even brisked the tip of how he felt in this moment. His mind began to justify her actions as best it could, relaying that he had been the one to initiate the awkwardness on his own free will. Still… it hadn’t seem to lessen the blow any better. “Jacob,” her breathe caught on his name, clearing her throat and mentally slapping herself for the slip up as she focused on delivering her words as plainly as she could, “there are things about me you have yet to know.”

Her delivery almost cold, and if it wasn’t for the crack in her voice, he would have believed it as such. Though that was all she could offer, nothing else coming to her that could deem worthy of an explanation. So he took a moment, swallowing back what felt like a lump in his throat as he finally tore his own eyes away and down to his feet. Lily noticed his solemn nod, brows drawing together in regret as she watched him lower his head as he stepped away further.

She couldn’t bear it, and without thinking had her hand reached out to grab his shirt. The movement itself had shocked her as much as it did him, the two looking at the limb before dragging their eyes over to each other once more. Lily fought the urge to pull him close once more and apologise profusely for what she had done. That in that moment she would say screw it all and latch her mouth onto his. But she couldn’t. And she knew that.

Her arm slowly pulled away, fingers etching from his shirt and back down to her side as she stepped away. With a louder clearing of her throat and a forced deadpan expression that she continued to wear, she decided to cut the loss short and side stepped around Jacob. His fists balling as his head lowered slightly again, eyes shutting as he silently sighed beneath his breathe.

With a stride in her step, she made way underneath the cover of the building and towards the bell centred in the middle. A trap door was latched down before it, Lily having seen it before but never having used it. But with a clip of the locks, she pulled the door open and stood back upright, briefly glancing over her shoulder to look at Jacob but halting herself as she did. No, it would only make it worse.

“Use that as a way down.” Jacob watched her walked back to the ledge, easily stepping up onto the rails and her eyes never meeting his as she did so. It was almost as if he had upset her, and it didn’t sit well at all. “It’ll be a safer descent to the ground.” Like a kick to his ego, finally finding the bravery to scale the building with his grapple hook only to be shown the way to walk down again. It was definitely a step backwards, especially in front of Lily. And the ache remained as he watched her jump off and out of sight into the night.

Jacob ran both hands through his hair and tugged his locks softly in frustration, leaning back as he groaned. What had he done?

[astrxlfinale]

"We don't have to stay up if you're too tired you know! I can catch the newest episode later if you'd rather go to sleep," Guinaifen hums as she reaches out to Caelus so arms can drape around his frame.

As much as she enjoys watching shows with the trailblazer, she also knows that they live vastly different lives and that there will be other demands out that that go beyond the mundane occurrences of their shared life. That, despite what one might think, doesn't bother Guinaifen. She knows, and she acknowledged the position of the lover of a nameless long, long ago. What matters to her is that they remain a part of one other's time as long as they have and can. Who knows when the stars might call on either one or when life will prove extra demanding. For now, she'll settle for this, the frame of Caelus against hers as hands settle on his shoulders in gentle, but firm, rubs.

The least she can do for the tired trailblazer is to offer some remedy for sore shoulders, a tender kiss provided on top of pale locks.

"We can probably just crash here on the couch," she muttered in between kisses, thumbs digging a little deeper against his muscles. Who even knew of all the things he had encountered in such short time. "Unless you want me to carry you to bed? I could do that~"

Naturally she would catch on. The days passing by have been both a waking dream, and a torrent of roaming through his course of exhaustion. Even now those unknown muscles were still giving a buzz of distaste to the fact he enjoyed the act of moving forward. The slow spins of time were always a reprieve he'd drink in eagerly, allowing those weary yet recovering muscles to receive their dues. It'd be within a loving embrace and a flash of coral that he finds such peace, that his body instinctively leans into that very security.

"Firekiss.. I owe ya." He doesn't, he know he doesn't by her terms. Just getting those words drawn felt like his very Caelus way of expression gratitude. That grace of her fair lips would never fail in igniting a smile, big and small to settle as he'd get lost in the magic of her hands. There was a lethal accuracy in how she lets them roam, strategically drawing focus to knots or tense areas before letting affection melt them away. His note of appreciative groans would be an undeniable sign that her foes were actively being vanquished.

"I'm gonna have to take ya up on that offer." For a change, he didn't beat around the bush or even tried to spruce the fun in their conversation. At the end of the day, she was just right and the tugging urge to let his body float about in the stillness of rest was tempting. Too tempting. To no one's surprise, the act in itself of going to sleep these past weeks hadn't been easy. Some stubborn, errant part of his brain felt compelled that to rest is to throw himself back into that Aeonic pool of oblivion.

Ena's dream was crushed, Ena THEMSELVES driven back to the rhythm of The Harmony.

Victory just didn't always bring a gratifying grail known as peace of mind.

In Caelus's opinion? The lack of a proper doubt slaying punch to the face was definitely the reason that Dominicus still crawled about in his dreams.

In the end, it'd be the arms and busied hands of his sweetheart that intends to do her part. Rather than be a pit of reassurances, the decision to let her support carry him was better, proper even. More of his weight would lean into those hands as his head lulled against the toned frame of her shoulder. Those equally weary arms would find themselves looping around her waist, savoring the welcomed warmth and the mere reality of just squeezing her closer to him.

A little longer, just a little longer would that lively impulse to explore his favorite series would have to wait. "Been.. Waitin to see if that theory was true for weeks." Comes a shaky moment of emphasis, hints of a grin draws across her shoulder where the fanning of his soft breathes built up. While the call of unconsciousness crests closer upon mental shores, that last playful insinuation managed to hook in before more elements begin to drift away as those eyes close.

"Only.. Ya get up.. Yourself.." Sleep for sleep and not any wild dreams felt too damn good.

Familiar paths were also very good for the Trailblazer.

@avaere

[solarlotus]

for the fic request, how about omega anakin feeling insecure when a bunch of senators start flirting with alpha obi-wan so he starts rubbing all over obi-wan like a cat to scent him because that’s his alpha and the senators need to back off while not knowing obi-wan is doing the same thing with him and growling at anyone who try’s to flirt with anakin.

I normally write omega Obi Wan, so this was a good challenge. Hope it's ok!

Anakin hated them, stupid senators. Obi Wan had always mistrusted politicians, yet he flirted with them as if his life depended on it. They called him the negotiator, Anakin preferred aggressive negotiations, especially when Obi Wan was having his arm patted, the woman was actaully patting his arm!

It didn't get any better as the afternoon wore on. Every caf break Anakin was chided for sitting in the corner scowling and Obi Wan was trailed by three omega senators, one woman and two men. They were small and dainty, perfumed and delicate. They were not like Anakin, who was tall and commanding, a leader of men and armies. As far from the traditional omega as you could get. Of course Obi Wan enjoyed their attentions, he thought bitterly. He was probably fed up of an omega who smelled of engine oil and the blood and sweat of battle.

It all got too much at dinner. Despite pulling Anakin aside in the rest room and reassuring him that he was the most beautiful omega, that he was his mate, his true love, Anakin was not appeased, especially when one omega, a delicate lady with flowing blond hair and a tiny waist practically sat on his lap.

Something snapped inside Anakin, his brows were drawn in a deep scowl and he radiated anger in the Force, enough to cause Obi Wan to drop his soup spoon, uncharacteristically splashing his perfectly ironed robes. Anakin put his arm around Obi Wan, letting his sleeve slip up his arm, exposing his wrist. He rubbed his wrist over Obi Wan's side, glowering at the blonde senator, who was now shrinking back, but her heavy perfume still hung in the air, hung over his mate.

Anakin brought his other hand to Obi Wan's chest and began rubbing there too, quick strokes down his torse.

'Anakin,' Obi Wan whispered, embarrassment creeping up his face. He stood and pulled Anakin with him, heading swiftly for the rest room. As soon as the door was locked Anakin was on him, rubbing his wrists up and down his arms, over his back, furiously scenting him, driving away the cloying omega scent of the blonde woman.

'Anakin! This is an official dinner, this is not seemly!' Obi Wan hissed.

'She was all over you, master, I can't stand it, she stinks of... of unmated omega and you wanted it!' Anakin said, voice choked and tears forming in his eyes.

'Of course I don't, I'm using every part of the Force to keep the smell from getting to me... Oh, Anakin, you're too busy being angry to sense my discomfort?'

'She wants you,' Anakin growled.

'Well, she can't have me, I'm yours.'

'Say it again,' Anakin said, still furiously rubbing his scent over Obi Wan.

'I'm yours and you are mine, my omega, my mate, my love. And once this war is over you're going to be full of my pups.' Obi Wan leaned forward and licked Anakin's neck, kissing the soft skin of his throat before biting down on his scent gland, causing a rush of pheromones. Anakon moaned, slick had begun leaking. Then Obi Wan smiled into his throat, a hand slipping down the back of Anakin's pants.

Anakin went pliant, mewled, he could do little else as his alpha dipped his fingers into his hole, how rapidly slicking, and coated his digits, he brought them up to his mouth and sucked them clean, moaning as Anakin stood submissive and waiting. Again Obi Wan put his fingers back in Anakin's hole, causing Anakin to moan prettily.

'Obi, I need it, I need you.'

'Later, be a good boy and you can have my knot after we've finished with this blasted dinner.' Obi Wan brought his fingers up again and rubbed the glistening slick into his neck, over his scent glad. 'Now, when anyone looks at me, all they'll see is you,' Obi Wan whispered, kissing Anakin long and hard, a promise.

[statusquoergo]

“Come on.”

“Uh?”

Diane looks up as Naomi stands and holds out her hand as if this isn't a ridiculously careless thing she's asking her to do, as if neither of them has the good sense to mention that neither one of them has any idea what they're getting themselves into. As if neither of them might be walking straight into a trap of their own making, or nothing much will change at all and they'll forget about each other in a month, or a few days. As if it's a risk worth taking to find out which.

As if there's anything else to do today.

“I'm not going to the hospital.”

“I know.” Naomi reaches a little closer. “I have a first aid kit at home.”

Enough to get them through, that's all. Enough for now.

“You know how to wrap it?” Diane asks as she takes Naomi's hand to pull herself up, as though the answer might change her mind somehow. Naomi smiles a little, as though she knows it just as well that it won't.

“Yeah.” She sets Diane's hand down on her shoulder. “It's not far, come on. I'll carry you down the stairs.”

“You'll drop me.”

“I will not.” Naomi urges her forward, along the concrete path out of the park. “I mean I'm just offering, I don't have to.”

It's a nice gesture, though, isn't it? It was a nice thought.

They walk slowly down the street, stepping more or less in sync past the general store with the baking supplies just past the doorway, turning at the corner to walk toward the coin laundry that's open even at three in the morning and also on holidays. A hand-drawn poster in the window of the discount shoe store across the street loudly advertises VACUUMS REFURBISHED while a Times New Roman printout on the telephone cubicle in the middle of the block offers “suitable compensation” in exchange for willing test subjects, No Questions Please; a few steps farther along stands an apartment building that somehow looks like it's missing a couple of stories, and Diane shifts her weight to her good leg as Naomi steps away to fumble with the lock on the front door.

“It's the door on the left,” Naomi says, the door sticking only slightly as she shoves it open. “When you get to the basement.”

She opens the first door on the right, a stairwell that only leads down.

“Upstairs is that door over there, but I don't know any of the neighbors, so. I'm not gonna introduce you to anyone.”

That's fine. Diane doesn't want to know any of them, either.

Naomi walks down the stairs first and doesn't try to carry her.

“Bathroom's at the end of the hall,” she says. “The taps aren't broken, the water's just cold when it's cold outside and warm when it isn't, but if you let it run for a little while, it'll...fix itself. And make sure you don't touch the water heater, it's metal and it gets really hot sometimes.”

Diane clutches the wooden banister nailed to the wall as she limps her way down and wonders how much of all this she's supposed to remember. All of it, probably. It isn't very complicated.

Naomi unlocks the door on the left and holds it open.

“You can sit on the bed.”

It's good of her to offer. It isn't much of a bed, really, more of a mattress pushed into the corner, but that isn't exactly a surprise, and it's good of her to offer all the same.

“Thanks,” Diane says, a little too late to seem quite natural. Naomi hums a disinterested acknowledgment and doesn't seem to mind.

“Take off your shoes.”

Diane promptly unties her sneakers, placing them on the floor beside the bed as Naomi kneels in front of her with a roll of ACE bandage in her hand and her eyes focused on Diane's ankle like she's the only attending physician in the entire complex who doesn't have better things to do with her time than tend to something as trivial as all this. Diane should count herself lucky the timing worked out the way that it did.

Lucky, was it? It's about time.

The single bulb in the overhead light flickers a little as if a public execution has just disrupted the power grid, or someone's turned on too many air conditioners at once and blown a fuse a few floors up.

“Don't worry about it,” Naomi says. Diane doesn't bother to assure her that she wasn't.

[pbaintthetb]

Maya & Phoenix post 1-2 fic

Phoenix and Maya have escaped prison sentences, proven the guilt of Mia's real killer. Phoenix has managed to get some closure with his dead boss saving his arse, and Edgeworth is finally back in his life. Gumshoe the weird police officer has even thrown some confetti down from the ceiling to celebrate Phoenix's innocence- or Phoenix's win? Or Redd's guilt- Phoenix doesn't actually know and he's not going to interrogate that too much.

But the point is that it all feels like some kind of fairytale ending and everything is finally going right-

except

Except Edgeworth hates him, Mia's still dead and Phoenix doesn't want justice, he wants Mia alive. And Maya... Maya's standing holding her bag, not looking at Phoenix but into the depth of the street, lit only by the street lamps, the moon hidden by the clouds.

Neither of them say anything, Phoenix feels like he should but he can't find it within him. All the pain he's feeling must be tenfold for Maya, so he just stands awkwardly next to her, waiting to see what she'll do. He feels like a lost child-

And then Phoenix remembers, for all Maya is a Fey, for all she'd channeled Mia earlier it's Maya, not him, who is the child in this situation. His days of trailing behind are over.

So,

Phoenix clears his throat.

"Do you need..." he starts before trailing off aimlessly, he'd meant to ask if Maya needed help getting home- but where was home? And how much use would he be? Did she even want his help? It's not like Phoenix could give her a lift, and his wallet is straining, but considering everything he could probably fork out for a taxi.

"The last train to Kurain leaves in twenty minutes," Maya tells him with a cracking grin that makes his smiles in court look positively glowing.

Phoenix doesn't say what he's sure they both know. The station is a twenty minute drive away, it's gone 11pm at night and they're standing in the street free, but at what cost?

"And Mia's keys are still in evidence," Maya continues voice getting higher, "Why didn't I ask that Gummy guy? I'm so stupid!" She breaks off with a sob and Phoenix has drawn her into a hug before he's actually thought about it and wondered if he should or not.

He lets go almost immediately; Maya stiffens and he starts to regret it.

"Come back to mine," he offers, then corrects, "If you want I mean. I've just done laundry so you can take the bed..." Phoenix rubs the back of his head smiling awkwardly, "It's the least I owe you."

If pressed Phoenix might struggle to name exactly what he owes Maya for, but he's sure that he does. For something, for not being enough.

Maya gasps, sounding scandalised.

"You're an old man Nick, you can't sleep on your sofa! What about your back?!"

Phoenix gapes, too taken aback to even splutter for a few  moments.

"I- what-"

////////

they walk back to Phoenix's, he's too tired to try and organise a cab right now. Maya doesn't complain so Phoenix tries not to feel bad.

There's someone pissing outside his building when they arrive, because when is there not? He barely notices, but Maya shifts behind him a little.

Phoenix carefully guides Maya forwards with his hand on her back and takes care to lock the door behind him again.

"Bathroom, bedroom, kitchen," Phoenix lists off in quick succession, pointing to the respective door. Technically the kitchen doesn't have a door but it has a doorway so Phoenix likes to be fancy and consider it a separate room.

Phoenix is a functional adult, but barely, so he doesn't have spare sheets. Instead he grabs one of the pillows off his bed  and the blanket Larry gave him in uni (or left him in uni more accurately) from the top of his wardrobe.

A bit of rummaging in his sock drawer reveals the spare towel which he promptly gives to Maya. Maya who is sitting, knees drawn up, in his corridor eyes drooping.

"Here," he tells Maya, the girl he barely knows but who saved him from going to jail and who he saved in turn and is the sister of his dead boss. Or is he the employee of her dead sister? Whose story does Mia’s death belong to?

Maya looks at him in confusion for a moment, before understanding sparks and she takes the towel. God can Phoenix sympathise, he wants nothing more than to sleep right now, his limbs feel heavy and his eyes feel dry.

He watches Maya slowly pull herself up and he’s torn between hovering in case she needs something (like instructions on how to turn on Phoenix’s slightly temperamental shower) or to give her some privacy in her grief.

He settles for mumbling “oh shit, spare clothes,” and heading back into his room to get her his largest t-shirt and smallest shorts. They’re probably still too big for her but at least she has the option.

He dumps them in her arms, and then feels bad for the dumping but he’s pretty sure both of them just want to lie down right now, Phoenix’s couch and old blanket have never felt so appealing and-

And Phoenix had just done his laundry but then- then the past few days had happened so it’s still all sitting in the dryer which means Phoenix has to make the bed- and he could sob. He really could.

But he can do this for Maya, he can do this much, so he drags his sheets out and tries not to think about how much he wants to go to sleep wake up.

Maya’s hair is damp, but it’s with water, not blood, and she doesn’t really look that much like her sister. So Phoenix tells the wall above her head that Maya’s welcome to anything in the kitchen before collapsing on the couch. He has enough sense to take his jacket and tie off, but he’s still in his suit pants and shirt, blanket up to his waist and pillow under his head.

His feet hang off the arm of the couch but Phoenix could sleep anywhere at this point.

////////////

Or perhaps he could sleep nowhere, because while he’s exhausted and while he can barely keep his eyes open, it’s still dark hours later and Phoenix feels just as empty as he did before.

He hasn’t even started to cry yet and he still feels empty, is that bad? He’d cried about Edgeworth when he’d left at age eight. His boss, his mentor, his friend, Mia, is dead and his eyes are dry.

Phoenix isn’t eight anymore, and he’s not crying about Edgeworth anymore (he refuses) it’s just…

He’s too tired to do anything but sleep, and he’s too melancholic to be able to close his eyes. He doesn’t like what he sees behind his lids.

He could turn the TV on but he doesn’t want to wake Maya up. It’s not like he’d actually watch it anyway.

////////////

He hears the soft pad of Maya’s feet before he sees her, for her part, Maya doesn’t seem to notice him until she’s standing in the doorway between his kitchen and living area, holding a glass of water.

He notices this because he hears a small intake of breath.

Maya sits by the floor on his legs, shoulder brushing his blanketed knees, drinking water.

Phoenix adjusts the blanket slightly, neither of them say anything. They watch the blank television until morning.

[themagnusbane]

I posted 239 times in 2022

11 posts created (5%)

228 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@three--rings

@bengiyo

@yeetlegay

@lutawolf

@ilargeicontradictmiself

I tagged 229 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#you’ve got to be queueing me - 107 posts

#you’ve got to me queueing me - 39 posts

#love in the air - 31 posts

#kinnporsche - 18 posts

#mdzs - 16 posts

#payurain - 15 posts

#lita - 14 posts

#love in the air the series - 14 posts

#wei wuxian - 14 posts

#mass effect - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i say let me enjoy my trashy gay smut. my artsy queer awakening cinema. my revolutionary punk rock burn down the establishment love story

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Gap The Series Episode 02 Thoughts

1. Everyone calls her Mon. But you can call her future wife. Love of my life. Walking goddess. Baby girl. The choices are endless Sam!!

2. Hfffgghhfhh. Or babe. Babe is a good pick too 😂😂.

3. Aaaaaand we have our first eye-fucking of the episode!!! This show’s like we know lesbians. Half of their foreplay is eye-fucking, and we aim to be as accurate as possible. To which I say, thank you for the blessing and consideration 🙌🏾🙌🏾

4. Oh Sam dearest. She’s not saying you’re old. She’s calling you Mommy!! 😏

5. Hear that “Your Line in my phone. Now” voice??? And you wonder why she calls you Mommy 😂😂

6. I feel you Sam! If my crush gave me their jacket, I’m never washing it, or taking it off!!!

See the full post

23 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

#4

Never Have I Ever - A PrapaiSky Fic(let)

So the thing is, I haven't written in almost 4 years (and no. My WangXian short doesn't count because it was meant to be 31 chapters and I still have 30 chapters unwritten since Mayhem November last year).

But, @suga4mycoffee requested for a fic where Prapai is made to realize just how badly he fucked up, based on the tags I made to her post, so that got the dusty ass writing plot bunnies going and now you have a fic that I think is rusty af, but I hope you enjoy anyway Suga.

**

If looks could kill, Saifha was sure his twin would have had him drawn and quartered, buried in a shallow grave with no headstone to commemorate his passing. And if he were a nicer twin, he would probably have found remorse buried somewhere in the depths of his heart.

But alas, he is very much Payu’s twin, and bringing his brother a measure of discomfort and misery soothed his soul. The fact that it made Payu’s boyfriend just a little bit miffed, which in turn meant that Nong Rain turned those bright eyes of his on his boyfriend in a glare that would have withered a lesser man, was just icing on an already spectacular cake. 

Having Nong Sky and Prapai caught up in all this however, wasn’t something he had planned.

But… Did he find it entertaining anyway? Certainly. It was wonderful the number of secrets that a simple game of Never Have I Ever, which he is proud to admit was his suggestion, could unravel. Besides, when you looked at it from the right perspective, he really was doing them all a collective favour. Best to let them air our their fears and insecurities and hurt, so their relationships can be the more stronger for it. 

Really, he should be deified for all the service he’s been rendering. 

“Never have I ever had an ex draped all over me, even though I already have a boyfriend, and I didn’t push said ex off, the minute he pulled his shit.”

At the words, Saifha’s eyes snapped to Nong Sky, and then Prapai. At the same time, Nong Rain turned to look at his best friend, whilst Payu’s eyes were locked on Prapai. 

“That is… Oddly specific,” Saifha murmured, leaning back to watch the chaos unfold. 

Praipai meanwhile leaned forward, fingers flexing on his glass of scotch whiskey, already half empty, because Prapai apparently had very few Never Have I Evers, and although Nong Sky’s been smiling every time Prapai’s had to lift that glass to his mouth for a drink—oh to be young and sickeningly in love—there was no smile on his face now, as he waited for Prapai. As they all waited for Prapai. 

Praipai meanwhile had his eyes on Nong Sky, a softening in their brown depths that pulled a low sound from his boyfriend’s throat, had Nong Rain’s eyes widening, and Payu tilting his head the way he did when he was furiously trying to connect the dots. 

Saifha could feel his own eyes widening. Oh shit. He fucked up didn’t he?

“You saw?” The words came out in a whisper so low, the wind almost caught it and erased it. But they were all hanging on a thread, heightened by the hurt in Nong Sky’s voice, and the remorse in Praipai’s, that they all heard it. 

“Are you drinking or not P’Pai?” Nong Sky’s voice was cold. Gone was the teasing inflection that Saifha was used to hearing. And clearly he wasn’t the only one who noticed. Nong Rain’s mouth was open, and Prapai flinched. 

Saifha watched him take a deep breath, and down the rest of the whiskey in one gulp. 

He heard an explosion of sound as Nong Rain launched himself at Prapai, only to be pulled back by Payu. Saifha noted that the grip Payu had on his boyfriend was loose, barely restraining him as Nong Rain’s eyes spat way more rage than that little body should have access to. 

Saifha could tell. If Payu wasn’t holding Nong Rain back, Prapai would have had to deal with the nails and teeth of his boyfriend’s best friend who looked like he was minutes away from breaking free of Payu’s hold and dealing all the hurt he could at the man who’d dared to hurt his friend. 

And with the way Payu was holding him, Saifha could tell that he was really considering letting go, and giving Nong Rain the free rein to dole out all the damage he wanted. 

Nong Sky meanwhile seemed to let loose all the air that he’d held in, waiting for Prapai’s response. Saifha watched as he deflated, and curved into himself. His hands digging into the flesh of his upper arms as he rocked back and forth. 

“I’m sorry,” Prapai whispered, knees sinking to the floor right in front of Nong Sky, hands reaching out to touch him, and then pulling back, fingers flexing like he didn’t have the right to do that anymore. 

“How could you P’Pai? How could you?” Nong Rain’s voice kept rising, his feet trying hard to connect with Prapai’s shin. But Payu’s hold held strong and he couldn’t come close. 

“Why?” At Nong Sky’s whispered question, everyone quieted. Prapai slid a step closer, and Nong Sky’s eyes locked with his. 

Saifha could feel the moment when everything, and everyone else faded away for them. They were together, in their own cocoon of hurt and pain and regret. 

“Why are you sorry P’Pai?”

“I—“

“Are you sorry that you said you would be out in 5mins and you didn’t keep that promise? That I ran into girls there who were talking about how they wanted to fuck you? Are you sorry that they mentioned that P’Payu had made it clear that he had a boyfriend, but they had no idea that we were together? Are you sorry that they thought they had a chance with you because they didn’t know otherwise, because you didn’t tell them otherwise?” 

Saifha watched Prapai’s shoulders slump with each question that Nong Sky tossed his way. The younger boy’s voice was low and level. No inflection of the rage that Saifha would have expected. It was like he had sunk deep into the depth of all that hurt and pain; like they were were questions he had asked himself over and over again, until he had numbed himself to it, and disassociated from it all.

See the full post

62 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#3

Everybody else: The special episode had Daddy Kink, Prapai eating Sky out on a conference desk leading to some conference desk fucking, Sky pulling out his claws on one of Prapai’s exes, Rain and Sky being dumbasses and Sig having his villain cackle moment…

Me: Hold up! WHEN WAS SOMEONE GOING TO TELL ME THIS EPISODE HAD A ONE PIECE REFERENCE????! One Piece made it into Lita???? OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Look at Monkey D. Sky go! He’s going to become the king of boyfriends! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

102 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

#2

Things that will live in my head rent free, courtesy of the special episode

1. Daddyyyyyyyyy

2. Rain’s little hitch of his hips and eye rolling to the back of his head as Payu slides in

3. Conference tables are for gaming and fucking and gaming while fucking and fucking while pretending to be gaming

4. Payu in a pilot uniform

5. Prapai’s “huh” at Sky saying they should have a bath

6. Payu thumping Rain’s lower lip with that whispered “I’m trying to make it up to you now”

7. That little hitch to Prapai’s breath and his “absolutely” to Sky asking if he wants to kiss him

8. Payu and Rain’s final “I love yous” 😭😭😭

9. Prapai’s “I want to have the right to take care of you” proposal

10. Payu’s ass in those wet CLINGY white trousers. Jesus fucking Christ!!!

604 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

1,259 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[solardick]

Happy BS day. Its valentines. I’m not allowed knowing love. Because god’s an asshole. And enjoys fucken with me. And it’s always ever going to be just me. And know that in dying. I dont care anymore. That stupid girl they always talking about is going to be there. Today, yay! My lung hurts. Smoke another ciggarette.

Wonder whys the dovstor arw going to say when i ask to be euthanized. Just send me a guy already so i can spend the rest of my short life being fucked. Like i have been since my first memory. And Since im never going to add anything to life. And for the first tome this year theres the semblance of winter. Its only ten degrees warmer than it should be today and not 20.

Oh and the girl is gone. Wonder who’s gonna replace her.

Yay for being punished all fucken day. Get the fuck out of my way.

And fuck tarot im done. All y’all fo id give me the oppositre of what i create and my intent. Fuck this rapist culture. Soend tbe rest of my short life gaming and hetting drunk. An dmy dragon image in now trash.

Not allowed being healthy others control my life. Wonder what having independance from malicious influences. Something id like to experiemce before i die. Ive never been. Maybe one day. Ill go. Lol.

I nailed it in that dragon image though. My perfect reflection. And the tower crumbles. Everytime.

Mmmnn i can feel it. Serpent. Its stirring. And after fetting hit in the face with a box. Fuck this. Im done. Fuck all of you. Go sit in the corner and wait.

Souffy, fuck off pls.

And… uh, maybe she realized she was in love with me. And could no longer stay. It was a nice two step dance we did though. Was fun. Bye luv. Maybe one day.

It’s always sexual. I have a very lovable image. I just be me. I always get fucked over. But circumstances won’t allow. Im locked down. Man. And they won’t leave me be. I left my family what eight years ago now. Haven’t had any peace pressence has always been there. … born in hell. I dint know what else to say.

Well you know what they say. Gotta poor your sexuality into something else. Like making love to god. Or jesus. Or blogging indiscriminately, unfiltered. It has to be raw. Or. Not at all. When uou have nothign good to say you sys nothing at all. Maybe in. Fairy tail ‘bout being saved by thee glorious father.

Maybe her boifriend, will show up and beat me up. Because she flirted to spite. Spite. Yeah, yeah. That word, works well. Think im being framed up again? Probably.

Hahah. Ugh. I mean. Im pretty celibate. So its usually from the opposing parties. Thats how it started. Even down near 6-8 yr’old. If its coming from women, its either a good desire that would play out right if present corcumstnaves werent treating me lije a marionnette or there wasn’t amole amounts of violent carnage preventing any act forward. Or its a dirty desire. And im turned off. And do the morally good thing. Ethically may be skitchy. The couple times it did. Treatment and marionnette and all that. Not in a healthy state of being. And thats beside the while line up of scripted ones. There to be serpents. Other people serpents. The white ones with the crow.

Where do you want me to step? Here?

Uh, ok. The added script. Strength from mother to the “king” the child as self. Mother to child. Leo. And death. A parental bond with mother. One showing trust and support. Missing piece to the script. My own, fuck her. Man. I cant do it. There’s nothing there. And for as long as im nothing but tred, i couldn’t afford to care even if i wanted to.

Now to see of i camt find something to watch that isnt predomiantly gay, or gradually drawn into being. Risky stuff. I live dangerously.

Like tomorrow war, where the threat is actually the russians. With there symbolic connection to man and the machine vs. Women and temptation. Gotta fight the good fight. It had monsters and russians in it. I should have known better. In godzilla it was what the Chinese? God sake. Gotta keep my uranus in sag occupied. Uh?

I soent what 20 years in a hole. Not being a part of the system. And then as soon as i do. “Covid”happens. Yeah, ok? Where the real world? I dont think ive met it yet.

Anyway. Crazy bs aside. Im grateful she left. Better pay, closer to home. Can’t go wrong. Even though she hurt me in two ways. Knowing that she wasn’t there to get in my way today. Was awesome. And the good feeling remains. The Dove and the Dragon. The dove, a portent to positive experience. This land is populates by too many crows though. The most dominate species here. Only in the spring and summer are they mostly chased away. Creating a loop of conditional experience. That of using the the functioning increases of solar energy to overcoming the negative association to growth. Its not at all different that the tv. Of fighting monsters and such. Except that there’s not an overlaying fabricated script over nature. And this function is towards the means of reproduction and establishing a suitable nesting home.

In high populated city zones, the natural is all but lacking. Amd the mass lives within a bubble of conditioning. Which cost millions of lives to make possible. While claiming peace on earth. Though millions of lives doesn’t seem so consequential considering the what now, eight billion?

Twisted metal does seem promising. Thanks justin.

No, it’s just sneaky. It hook punches you.

Well guess im goving up media. And going back to the wind.

Well y’all could give some hearts if your going to stock me anonymously. But no. Only the bad stuff.

[pocketfullofnerdybby]

IV. Guided By The Stars

MATURE CONTENT! ONLY 18+

Bucky's POV:

It had been a few days since her comment about her weight set me off. Honestly, did she think that little of herself, that she didn't think she was worthy of being loved by someone because of how she looked?

Thinking about it, the look in her eyes, the way her features seemed to steel over, it made me think that she actually believed what she was saying. My god it drove me nuts thinking that she believed that. Although I'd never admit this out loud, I'd let her walk all over me because she was worth it. When she smiles, everything around me stops, and the only thing that I can coherently think of is how her lips would feel against mine. How they would mold to mine, and how she probably tasted so sweet. Like the nectar that attracts the bees to a flower.

She was my flower, and I was the bee that would always keep coming back for that sweet nectar. That's why it enraged me to walk into the cabin and see my father's filthy hand on her supple skin. It made my stomach lurch at the thought of anyone leaving a mark on her. Which was why I threatened to have any of my men drawn and quartered if they so much as left a mark on her when they brought her here on the ship during the plunder

I can still recall the fury that had spiraled in the pit of my stomach, swirling around like the thick smoke rising from the bowels of hell. The way he sneered at her, and how afraid she looked. Father or not, I was ready to kill him for touching her. I really didn't care if the crew called for mutiny at that point. No one was going to touch her but me.

The last three days had gone rather well if I was being honest. She had come up on deck a few times during the course of our travels. She started asking questions, some about the places we've been, and how one becomes a pirate. To be honest, she was drawing out more feelings and memories I had kept locked away for the longest time. Afraid that if I even so much as tried to think about them, I'd never be able to lock them back away.

With her, everything just felt at ease and natural. It made me almost feel bad for having to take the route I did to get her here. Almost.

As I stood on the upper deck, tossing directives to the crew in order for us to dock at the next town, I see a figure move out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head to watch as she slowly came up from the cabins, and gradually found her way to the side railing, standing there as the salty breeze played with the tendrils of her hair, letting them dance in the rays of sun.

I shake my head, trying to push down the newfound feelings that were creeping up along my spine. Just as the thought of going to join her makes its way into my mind, Steve stands beside me, his head turned up to the sun, enjoying the warmth on his face.

"You know, if you stare any harder at her, you might burn a hole through her skirts or something." Steve says nonchalantly, not moving his head. I take a moment and clear my throat, it having gone dry again at the sight of her.

"I was just thinking that she looks overly warm at the moment. Her face seems a little red, does it not?" I ask, praying that he doesn't comment any further at the apparent starting problem I've developed since meeting her.

"Maybe?" he says, now turning to look in her direction.

"Now that you bring it up, she does look a little flushed." Steve agrees.

"I think there is a lighter skirt somewhere. I'm certain it will make her feel a lot more comfortable to be in something else bulky. I'll take a look." I say, turning to start towards the cabins, turning to Steve, "Keep an eye out for her, for me please?" I ask, already knowing that he would.

"Sure!" he says, leaning forward on the rail looking down on the main deck. I turn and go towards my cabin, and open up a trunk, looking through it to find what I was hoping was still there, and that none of the whores my father had taken, got to it. After digging further down, I finally find it. With the skirt draped over my arm, I head back to the deck, giving Steve a nod to let him know I was back, continuing my way over to her.

She seemed lost in thought, as she didn't turn when I stood beside her. I cleared my throat, hence making her jump with a startled noise, that I found to be the sweetest sound I could have possibly heard. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You were deep in thought, and figured if I put a hand on your shoulder, you would have jumped worse." I told her, offering an apologetic half smile.

As her eyes traveled up to mine, my throat felt suddenly parched, and I made an attempt to lick my lips. She tilted her head to the side as her eyes pierced into mine, a whirlwind of emotions swirling in them that I couldn't quite place. After what felt like an eternity, I remembered about the skirt I had over my arm, and motioned towards her with it.

"I um.. I figured you might like to wear something that wasn't so hot. So umm.. here is a lighter skirt." I finish, handing it out to her.

She looked down at the skirt, and her hand reached out to touch the material. Her fingers traced over the folds of the fabric, skimming across it. She made some soft sound at the feel of it, and that sound reverberated deep throughout my body. I wanted to hear more of the sounds that she could make, especially if my fingers did the same to her skin as she was doing to the material. In fact, it wasn't just my fingers that wanted to draw out those delicious sounds, but my whole existence. The sudden flashes of having her underneath me, as my hands and lips trail over her body, was making it hard for me to stand still, suddenly remembering that I was standing in front of her.

"Thank you!" she whispered, her voice soft and suddenly shy. It made me want her all the more. Before my body could betray me, I start to turn and walk away.

"You're welcome!" I said over my shoulder, stalking back to where Steve stood, pretending not to have watched that.

"Don't try to be coy, Steve. I know you saw that whole interaction. I'm going to head into town when we dock. Please keep an eye on her, and don't let her wander!" I told him, before heading to my cabin with the hopes of trying to calm down.

~~~~A few hours later~~~~~

When we finally docked, I didn't really want to stick around on the ship, so I did what I needed to, and immediately took off into town. I walked for a bit before coming up to this tavern. I paused for a moment, thinking that a drink or two probably wouldn't hurt, and maybe, just maybe, it would help me get her out of my thoughts for a bit. She had such a hold on me already, it was unnerving.

I walked into the tavern and scanned over the establishment, looking for a seat. I finally set eyes on an empty table, and make my way towards it. As I sit down, this busty blonde barmaid comes up to the table, not really looking at me at first, and asks me for my order. "Just a tankard of ale please." I say, and it was then that she looked up at me.

I could see it in her eyes, and the way her body language changed. She parted her lips to say something, but nodded instead and turned to get my order. She came back not only with the tankard that I asked for, but some bread and meats as well. "Compliments of the cook!" she says, setting the tankard down along with the plate of food.

I know damn well that the cook didn't send out the plate, but I didn't want to be rude. Once she set them down, she turned to walk back to the counter to fill the other waiting orders, but not before she turned to give me a look that could only be described as bedroom eyes. I really wasn't interested in another conquest, at least not the barmaid. My body responds involuntarily to the thought of her, as I take a drink of my ale. I put the tankard down, giving my head a light shake.

I had a woman here in front of me that pretty much was begging me to have my way with her, but my thoughts kept going back to the ship, so much so wondering what she was doing. After a few drinks later, the tavern started to get lively, as music started to play, yet I remained in my spot. I'll give the barmaid credit. She became increasingly bolder with every drink I had.

At one point, she had placed what was going to be my final drink on the table and decided it was the right time to full on make her advancement. Taking her chance, she trails her hand up and down my arm, lingering over my bicep a moment. I turn to look at her hand on my arm, and follow her movements as they snake down my chest, to the hem of my pants, dancing over my abdomen, making my mouth go dry.

As I look up her arm, to see her face, I try to wet my lips by running my tongue over them, which doesn't work so I take a drink from the tankard instead.

"If you are free tonight, Captain, I'm done in an hour. You can show me how you would plunder me?" She asks, in a very overly sweet tone that suddenly made me feel nauseous, as her hand didn't leave my abdomen. Before I could say anything, something pulls my gaze over to the middle of the room. My eyes landed on her, and I could tell by the way her body was tense, she had seen everything.

Even before I could react, I saw her cheeks flush, as she turned to practically run out of the tavern. Grabbing hold of the barmaid's arms, I forcefully moved her out of my way, trying to make my way to her, scanning over the faces of the crowd. I see her weaving her way through the crowd, frantic to leave. I moved a bit faster, reaching her before she could put her hand on the door knob, pulling her back towards me. I turn her around and force her to look up at me, staring deep into her eyes.

As she started to pull her body away from me, I grip her arms to try and hold her still, saying her name over and over, panic lacing through me the entire time.

After repeatedly trying to get her to listen to me, one of her arms broke the hold I had on her and I heard it before I felt it. I was dumbfounded. The sudden rush of heat where her hand had made contact spread like wildfire over my cheek. In disbelief I dropped my hold on her arm, my hand going straight to my cheek that now stung. I watched as she stumbled backwards a few steps, and turned to leave out the door. My eyes widened as she crashed directly into my father who stood directly behind her.

I watched as he looked down at her, pushing her away from him, but again holding her by her arm. He turned to look at me, the features on his face darkened and dripped disgust and contempt off of them. Shoving her towards me, so that she trips into my arms, his next words were fueled by drink and hate, slurred yet commanding. "Get her to the ship now. We're leaving!" as he turned to stumble out of the tavern.

Shame washing over me, I bow my head, and take her hand in mine, trying to interlock our fingers together, but she snatches her hand away with a grunt of anger, which causes me to grab her arm in the same fashion my father had just done, and starts to lead her back to the ship. With my head poised, I continue walking the trek back to the ship, feeling some resistance along the way as she falters, struggling to keep up with me.

At this point, being livid from both the slap and the embarrassment, I stop, turn around and throw her over my shoulder, trying to ignore the gasp that escapes her that sends jolts down to my groin, causing me to hold on to her tighter. As I continued along to the ship, I felt her beating against my back, not helping my temper. I let this continue on for a few more moments, finally having had enough.

She wants my attention? She's got it now. Without missing a step, my hand makes perfect contact with the contour of her ass, letting out a loud crack as it lands. The sting in my hand distracts me from what I just did, and dampens the lust that was running in my veins. "Let's just call that payback for the slap you gave me, pet. Next time I won't be so gentle with it!" I warn her, my voice dripping with a reined in darkness, even I didn't know I had.

I made the rest of the walk back to the ship, and strode across the deck, not looking at any of the crew and their questioning eyes, and strode directly to the cabins. I kicked open the door, marching right to the bed, throwing her down on it. I stifled a groan watching her body bounce as it made contact with the mattress. "Don't move, and don't TOUCH anything!" I growled at her before spinning around, leaving the room. As I slammed the cabin door and locked it, I turned and slumped down the length of it. I could hear her muffled sobs, which I could only presume was she was crying into the pillows.

I truthfully hated making her cry. It tore at me because all I wanted to do was wipe those tears away. To kiss every drop from her eyes until I could make her smile. But it was killing me that I was the reason she was crying... again. I missed her laugh. The way it made my breath hitch. The way her eyes lit up, and her cheeks flushed pink. I let out a sigh. I don't even recall how long I've been sitting there for but I can no longer hear her sobs, so I think she fell asleep. With that I get up and go to direct the crew on getting ready to set sail.

~~Later that night~~

I worked myself helping the crew prepare to set sail until I was beyond tired. Even when we were a sail, I continued to find what I could in order to work off the built up anger and sexual frustration I was feeling. As I continued to work, the heat beat down on my back, until I removed my shirt, letting the sun kiss my well worn skin. I tried not to think back to the way her ass felt when I smacked it, but it's like my mind had a mind of its own and wanted to torture me, recalling how it felt under my palm.

Even my cheek recalled how her hand felt on my skin, not helping the frustration any at all. I continued spooling the ropes for the sails until I could feel the muscles in my shoulders and arms burn. The setting sun drew my attention at the vibrant colors that cascaded throughout the sky. Taking a deep breath, I tossed aside the spooled up ropes and took a seat on the deck, letting the breeze from the sea cool the sweat on my skin.

I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the water lapping against the side of the boat, and the seagulls call out during their flight. The crew were scattered leaving the deck almost in quiet serenity. 

Suddenly I'm standing on the deck, facing out to the sea, wishing to be anywhere but in the hell that has been my life since ma passed. I felt her before I could see her. Her presence always had my skin prickling in anticipation whenever she was close by.

I didn't turn around just yet, staring at the sea a while longer. The touch of her hand on my shoulder instantly gave me goosebumps as I slowly turned to face her. My eyes started at the floor, traveled up her body slowly, as I watched her chest rise and fall with steady but deep breaths, almost like she was trying to control her breathing. I drag my eyes up further, scanning her neck as I notice that while she was trying to control her breathing, her pulse was saying something different. I continued up to her delectable lips that slowly parted as I continued my gaze up to her eyes.

There, I could see again a storm of emotions running through them, as they locked onto mine. As if on its own, my arm reaches out, letting my fingers gently trace along her jaw, until my hand is able to cup the back of her head, pulling her close to me, while tilting her head up to not break eye contact. "Bucky... " she whispers, my name sounding like my own personal oasis coming from her lips.

"It's ok, pet. I'll be gentle with you." I murmur back to her, my head slowly tilting forward, my eyes dropping down to her lips.

Before she could respond, I tugged her closer, my free hand finding its home on her hip, as my other hand brought her face closer to mine, our lips meeting with a spark of electricity, before completely crashing together.

The kiss was anything but quick, as the heat from the spark traveled through me, threatening to consume everything in its path. Her lips felt soft, and tasted like sweet fruits and honey. Emboldened by the kiss, my tongue darts out and sweeps along her bottom one, begging for refuge. Reading my intentions, her lips open up, as my tongue finds her in a half hearted attempt for dominance.

While our lips were busy, I molded her body to mine, letting her feel every fiber of my existence, and how each movement I make feels against her body. Pressing into her, she lets out a low guttural moan against my lips, spurring me on. The hand that was on her hip travels to the hem of her skirt, hiking them up, while spinning her around so her ass is pressed up against the railing. Breaking from the kiss, both of us panting with need, I drop to my knees in front of her.

As I looked up at her, her eyes hooded with emotions that fueled the lust in my veins as she stared down at me. Without another word, I dipped under her skirts, to find probably the greatest treasure I have found to date. I put one of her legs over my shoulder as I pressed forward, my tongue finding her most sensitive spot.

I can tell that I'm doing something right as I'm rewarded with a gasp that encourages me to keep going. I hold her hips in place as I continue to lick her folds, randomly teasing her by licking her sensitive bud. Each time I did, her hips bucked towards my mouth, making me want more.

I take one finger, and trace the folds, as I smirk at how wet she already was for me. "This is all because of me, pet?" I ask her, already knowing the answer.

All she can do is let out a hum. I chuckle softly before returning to my task at hand. I put her other leg over my shoulder and continued to eat like a starved man. Her hips move to get more friction against my tongue, as I lap everything that she is giving me. I can tell by her breathing that she's getting close. Pulling away slightly I murmur loud enough for her to hear.

"That's it my angel, come undone for me!" 

I could feel that she was getting closer, so I took my thumb and started to rub her clit as I suck and licked her juices. After a few moments more, I feel her go rigid, as I am rewarded with her orgasm drenching my face. As I stand up again, in front of her, I spin her around and place her hands on the railing. "You are not to move your hands from that railing, no matter what. Do you understand?" I ask her. She looks back over her shoulder at me and nods. I hike up her skirts, and undid my pants.

"Use your words, my angel. Are you ready?" I ask her, need dripping from the tip.

"Y-yes, Jamie!" she says, the pet name she calls me pushing me over the edge. With one motion, I thrust hard and deep into her, until I'm completely sheathed in her.

I let out a low and animalistic groan and how tight and wet she was. "Fuck!" I grind out between clenched teeth.

"Please Jamie," she says, catching my attention. That was all I needed as I started to increase my pace and thrust harder into her. Every thrust draws out a whimper from her, feeling myself hit deep in her, making me lose my mind. I keep going for I don't know how long, feeling her clench around me every time she's close, which makes me slow down a bit to get her to relax and draw this out more.

She reaches back to grab my hip, and I end up smacking her ass, earning a yelp from her. "I said to keep your hands on the railing no matter what. Now I have to fuck you harder for disobeying my orders!" I growl low in her ear, pistoning my hips harder and faster.

At this point I don't know how much longer it is that I can hold on, as her muffled cries indicate that she's close to another orgasm. The sound of our skin slapping together pushes me towards my own release. With a few more thrusts, my hips falter as I let go and coat her insides with my cum. "I knew you would be amazing at plundering me!" she says.

As I looked down at her, it was no longer my sweet enchantress, but the whoring barmaid from the tavern. I pushed away from her and turned to see her standing behind me, hurt in her eyes, letting me know she saw everything.

"Wait..."

I bolted up from where I fell asleep, sweat coating my skin, looking down seeing I was sporting a raging hard on. "Fuck!" I muttered, getting up and heading to my cabin, hoping to wash away that dream. There was no chance of me getting more sleep tonight, so I settled in with a book and prepared for a long night.

________________________________________________________________________________

Your POV:

It had been a couple of days since the incident in the tavern, and since you had received the smack on your ass. You don't know why you reacted that way to seeing Bucky with the barmaid. You had no claims over him, and clearly, he was free to do as he pleased, and who he pleased.

The only reason why he brought you back to the ship was because of his father. If you had been able to get away, you were pretty sure he would have gone back to that stupid wench and slept with her. You ran your hand through your hair, picking it up off your neck and letting the breeze cool off the sweat. Other than being able to feel the smack on your ass, you were kind of grateful at not sweating to death in the heavy skirts you had been wearing when you came on the ship.

It was nice of Bucky to do that, even though he wasn't obligated to do so. You groan in confusion. Why are you teetering on this, when there clearly isn't anything to teeter on, especially not on his end. He only was being polite with the skirt. And he clearly was only talking out of his ass when he said about real men loving women with curves.

You huff out a breath in exasperation at that. Clearly he enjoys blonde barmaids that will be willing to let him bed them. Throwing your arm down in frustration, you started pacing along the floorboards. You debated with yourself as to whether you should go find Bucky and apologize for reacting that way. But then again, you don't want him to think that there is something more coming from your end.

Wait? Is there? Did you react that way because you were jealous? Why were you jealous? He's your captor for crying out loud! Actually come to think about it, you hadn't seen Bucky since he locked you in here a few days ago. You hadn't seen anyone except Steve, who would come to the cabin and bring you food. Eventually the door was no longer being locked, and you would try your luck by stepping out onto the deck to get some fresh air and sun.

Steve would come and find you while you were on the deck and would keep you company. He never brought up Bucky, nor did you ask. You were in a way, too ashamed of your behavior to even fathom inquiring about him. That was, until the fourth day.

"You know, he doesn't always have a choice in the things that he does." he says, randomly.

"Who?" You ask, fully aware of who he was talking about, but wanted to see if he'd say.

"Bucky." he clarifies.

"And why should I care about the things that he does? Did I care when he... " you started but trailed off, not wanting to bring that up.

"He can be, no he is a good guy. People don't give him a chance because of his father. People are afraid of his father. Hell! Bucky's afraid of turning into his father!" he says, quickly realizing the last part he said.

That caught your attention. 

"Wait? He's afraid of turning into his father?" you ask.

Steve lets out a sigh. "He doesn't want to be cold towards anyone, especially not to you. I'm pretty sure he has a soft spot for you, but if you tell him I said that, I will deny it and make you walk the plank! Got it?" he says, a boyish smile on his face.

"I cross my heart!" you said, making the motion to show you were serious.

With that, Steve started to turn to leave. But before he did, he turned back and handed you a very tattered book. You look down at the cover and see it's a version of "Water babies".

"I figured you'd like something to keep you occupied." he says with a partial smile.

"Thank you Steve, that was nice of you!" you said, holding the book to your chest. You turned back to the cabin, the book in hand, and proceeded to sit by the window so you could read.

You don't know how much time had passed but the sun was starting to descend into the sea. You closed the book and set it down on the table. Just as you did, there was a knock on the door. Standing up, you walk over to the door and open it.

There stood Bucky, looking down at the floor, and you couldn't help the little "Oh" that escaped your lips. 

"Bucky, what? What are you doing here? You don't normally knock, especially considering it's your ship." you say, curiosity taking a hold of you.

"Can you come with me please?" he asks, finally looking up at me and holding his hand out for you to take. You look at his hand with curiosity. After an internal debate, you take his hand and allow him to lead you out of the cabin.

"Where are we going?" you ask, looking from side to side as he led you up to the deck.

"Here." he says, coming to a stop.

You looked around and the entire deck was empty. There in the corner was a barrel that had been covered over with a sheet, and two crates to allow us to sit. 

"Did you arrange this?" you ask, already knowing the answer.

"Please sit." he says, waiting for you to do so before he takes a seat himself.

He starts bringing out some bread, cheese and fruit, along with some cured meat, putting it all on a plate in front of us.

"I wanted to make sure you ate, and figured you would have slapped a plate out of my hands again if I brought it to you, so I figured I'd bring you to it."he says.

"Bucky, I ... " you started, but the words got stuck in your throat.

"It's ok, you don't have to say anything. In fact, it is I that should be saying something to you. I'm sorry for slapping your ass the other day. I ... I was still embarrassed and shocked that you slapped me. I'm not saying that I didn't deserve it, because what you saw, I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." he says, looking down at his hands. You couldn't believe it. You acted the way that you did and he was apologizing to you.

It made your eyes water at the fact that he was apologizing for everything it would appear, including your behavior. You reached across the makeshift table, to grab his hand. You realized then, that whenever there was skin to skin contact between you; you missed it until it happened again.

"Bucky, I need to apologize too. I was hoping that if I gained your trust, that I could escape. But when I saw you in that tavern, I didn't recognize who I was, and how I behaved. I should never have slapped you. I had no reason to behave like some jealous school girl. I have no claims on you, and you certainly don't owe me anything." you said, you turn to look down at your clasped hands.

Suddenly his hand leaves yours, and he's now kneeling in front of you. The same hand you were just holding, now tucked a finger under your chin, lifting your head to bring it up to look in his eyes.

"Pet, if you could only see what you're doing to me, you'd know that you have more claim to me than ever possible. You've laid claim to me even before I said my first words to you. I was captured by your beauty the very first time I saw you. I knew then that I had to be with you. I know I went about this the wrong way, taking you captive and all. And I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry for everything. I just don't know how to be without you, now that I've had a taste of you being in my life." Bucky says, as his eyes hold yours, and you see nothing but pure and raw honesty in them.

"Really? But why me?" you asked, your voice sounding meek and soft.

"Why wouldn't it be you, my angel? Whenever I walk into a room and you're in it, my skin vibrates with anticipation. My heart beats so fast that I think it's going to burst out of my chest when I look at you. You've been on my mind non-stop, and if I'm being honest, I was wishing it was your hands that were all over me in that tavern, not the barmaid's." he said, and that admission made my eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"But she... " you started, but was cut off by his lips softly molded to yours. You feel your eyes flutter shut as you lean in to the kiss. It wasn't at all how people describe their first kiss.

This was sweet, slow. Full of passion, but tenderness. Who knew Bucky had this side to him. His hand slowly makes its way to cup the back of your head, drawing you closer to him, deepening the kiss. You felt like you were drowning, but yet, you didn't want to be saved.

Softly, he pulls away, causing your eyes to flutter back open. You're met with blue eyes dancing with excitement, and you can't help but smile.

"I tried to imagine what kissing you would feel and taste like. It's safe to say, it was better than I'd ever imagined." he said, picking up your hand and brushing his lips over your knuckles. He sat back down, and offered you some fruit.

you both took your time eating, letting the sun finish its descent, as the stars started to dance and twinkle in the sky. As you ate, you talked, asking questions back and forth, getting to know each other better.

"What brought you into this life?" you ask, taking a bite of a sweet grape. You look at Bucky, and his face has an edge to it, like he's remembering something that he doesn't want to. It's a few seconds before he speaks again.

"When I was young, I lost my mother in childbirth with my sister." he starts, his words having a sobering effect on me. "My father couldn't handle losing the love of his life, and his child. The same day that we buried them, we left for sea. That's been the only thing I knew ever since" he finished. You were about to put a piece of bread to your lips, but put it back down onto the plate.

You went over to him, kneeling in front of him, clasping both of his hands in yours. You could feel your heart breaking for him.

"Bucky... I'm so sorry!" you whisper.

You lean down and brush your lips over his hands, feeling the tears that had formed spill where you had just kissed. With that, he sat up straight, pulling you to sit on his lap.

"It was a long time ago." he says, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less." you counter.

"Where did the name Bucky come from?" you asked.

"My name is actually James Buchannan. My mom called me Bucky for short." he said.

"James.... " you said the name, testing it off your tongue.

"Jamie..." you whispered.

At that name, he inhaled deeply, and shifted a bit under you.

"Can I call you Jamie?" you asked, not knowing really how he'd take to that. He picks up your hand, turning it over and places a kiss on the inside of your palm.

"You can call me that when we are alone. But when we are around the crew and especially my father, please call me Bucky." he asks. 

You spend several more hours talking and asking more questions.

Finally, when the night sky was completely dark, and all the stars were out, he picked you up off of his lap so he could stand up. He took your hand, interlocking your fingers together, bringing them up to his lips as you watched him intently. He guides you over to the helm of the ship, as you move in front of him, looking out over the vast sea.

He pulls you back close to him, so you're leaning against his chest, as he wraps an arm around your waist.

His other hand moves your hair away from your neck, as he leans down and softly brushes his lips over the sensitive spot, teasing as he lightly nips at it, making you gasp. You hear him chuckle at your reaction, and then feel his tongue softly swipe over the spot he bit. That action is definitely enough to make a low moan escape past your lips.

You feel Bucky's body tense, as he pulls you closer, you can feel the effect you have on him.

"Jamie... that... that feels really good." You whisper, turning your head a bit to try and look at him. His finger comes under your chin and guides your face up to meet his, his lips capturing yours, as he turns you to face him, never breaking the kiss, pushing you back against the rail.

He pulls away from the kiss and rests his forehead against yours.

"You're going to be the death of me, my pet." he says, his breath ragged. You couldn't help but giggle at that.

"Is the Pirate King falling for me?" You asked coyly.

"You have no idea." he smirks.

With that you turn back around, looking out over the sea, as you spend the rest of the night watching the stars, getting lost in each other's embrace. 

Each action, guided by the stars until the sun starts to rise.

________________________________________________________________________________

Charlie's POV:

I suspected that my son was falling for that wench. His resolve was weakening, and he was becoming more like the man I used to be. 

Head over heels for the love of my life.

But that was a life a long time ago, nothing similar to the life now. I didn't want my son to go through what I did, and that's why I was so hard on him. I figured if I was hard on him, it would keep him safe in a way. But she was threatening everything.

I watched as they stood at the helm of the ship, laughing and talking, pointing up at the stars. I heard him tell her about his mother, causing my heart to ache at the memory of the loss. I needed to do something, anything to keep him from being weak.

I knew what I would do.

Come the morning, she was going to earn her keep on this ship, and she was going to become the crew's plaything, whether my son liked it or not.

[archive-double-knots]

Anon said:

Cyra, how do you feel about your creator? Do you remember much about her? And do you ever feel like being created with a purpose made it harder for you to carve out your own identity?

 “My creator?” She repeats, blinking a few times, her ears folding forward for a moment. “Man, you guys really just go for the hard hitting questions, huh?”

          “Amice was tasked with something basically impossible, and I’m glad that she made the twins first. I’d hate to think how they’d handle not being finished.”

                         “Beyond that, I don’t really remember much about Amice, she got fired when we were locked in the basement back in '34. That whole department didn't make it, according to the records I found.”

Cyra sighs, “I thought about trying to find her, but let’s face it, I didn't think she’d want anything to do with me. I was the failed project that lost her job. I bet she would've like the twins though."

"Found out a little bit ago, that she died a few years back. Ol' girl was over a hundred after all. Her lawyer, Scott McLaughlin, found us in the basement, right around the time of the reboot actually. Anyway, there was a long legal battle thing that happened when we were still locked up, but turns out Amice actually made us birth certificates, real as us. So, legally, we're not property of the studio, never were. That's how Scott got permission to come on lot and find us."

"We got some financial compensation for 'mental harm' or whatever, and free passes to the studio lot for life. But, like, that doesn't make up for the 86 years we spent locked up, we only had one window, and it looked straight at another building. Real depressing like. We had each other, and a dinky little projection machine, paper, pencils, and the archives. Honestly, if we didn't have the cartoon archives, I don't think the three of us would've made it out as okay as we did. Probably would've killed each other or something.”

          “Anyyyyway, yeah, my basics were carved out, but I was unfinished. I didn’t exactly get the whole Warner brother treatment, ya know? I was drawn, half colored with a dying marker, and shoved in a basement. I never even got to see the sun that entire time.”

                “So, guess you could say that I didn’t have a real identity for a while. I didn't even know the sky was that big until I saw the view from the water tower.“

"But hey, that's all the past now, right? We live with Scott during the weekends, and during the week, I get to sit on the studio lot, and stare at the sky all I want. Also, I've got some auditions lined up, and you never know what the future holds, right? Scott and I've been talking about some other plans to make sure that no one gets shoved into an archive again."

[the-badger-mole]

Some Words Are Best Unsaid

He shouldn't be here. He knew as soon as his feet touched the smooth planks of the balcony he shouldn't be there. And yet, it felt right. He saw her sitting at her dressing table, humming as she combed out her long dark locks. He tracked the path of her hands, his own clenched at his sides to control the urge to take over her final task of the evening.

She still hadn't seen him yet. The moonless night had darkened the shadows on her balcony and the gauzy curtains had blocked the light inside from reaching him. None of the guards below had spotted him either, though even if they had, no one would say anything. Not to him. He had to do something, though, to make his presence known to her. He'd been standing and watching her for far longer than propriety allowed. He stepped forward and cleared his throat. Katara spun with a gasp, water already answering her call. Then he parted the curtains and took a tentative step inside. Katara's face lit up and she jumped to her feet.

"Aang!" she greeted him with a laugh. "I didn't think you'd be here in time!"

"I'm sorry I'm late," he said, holding his arms out for her. She had to reach up to hug him. A late growth spurt when he was seventeen had pushed him past her height at last and he could comfortably tuck her head under his chin now. It was nice. It made him feel more powerful than her. Like he could protect her at last. Katara pulled away far too soon and playfully punched his shoulder.

"I'm just glad you got here before the ceremony," she said. "It wouldn't have felt right without you." She reached up and put a hand on Aang's cheek. He took a sharp breath. Her touch sent shivers down his spine and set him on fire all at once.

"Is this a beard?" Katara laughed. Aang flushed at her light teasing. He had decided to stop shaving his face some weeks ago in the hopes of growing something as impressive as...well, as some of the monks he remembered from his childhood. He couldn't grow his hair out, but he could have a beard at least. Unfortunately, after nearly a month, all he had was a patchy, dry-looking scruff congregating where his chin met his neck.

"I can shave it," he said. "I want to look good for tomorrow."

"Don't worry," Katara waved him off. "I'm just not used to seeing you look so grown up!" Katara's gaze turned reproachful. "That's what happens when you don't visit for months at a time. It looks fine. It just needs to be moisturized a bit. Zuko has an oil that he uses on his hair, but Sokka swears by it for his beard, too. Let's go ask him." Katara grabbed his hand, suddenly excited for her plan.

"No, it's fine," Aang protested. He dug his heels and resisted Katara. "I don't want to wake him."

"Don't be silly! It's not that late. I'm sure Zuko is still up." Katara kept tugging at him. "And he'll be just as glad as I am to see you."

That hit Aang harder than it should have. Just as glad, Katara had said. He didn't want Zuko to be just as glad as Katara. He wanted Katara to be ecstatic to see him. Overjoyed. He wanted her to jump in his arms again and never leave. He wanted to gather her to him and take her away from here. It would be easy. Just scoop her up and leave the same way he'd arrived and in the morning, Zuko would find her empty room and know exactly what had happened.

"I didn't come here to see Zuko," Aang said. Katara faltered. She turned to Aang with a quizzical look on her face. Her hands fell to her sides, but Aang could still feel their warmth.

"It's alright," the words sounded almost like a question. "He's probably still awake. He won't mind a quick visit." Katara was confused, but Aang didn't understand how she could be. Wasn't he being obvious? Hadn't he always been obvious? Didn't he wear his heart in the open for all to see?

"I didn't come to see Zuko," he repeated. "I came here for you." Consciousness dawned on Katara's face, but she kept her brow drawn and her mouth twisted in a mask of misunderstanding.

"Well..." she said hesitantly. "If you want to talk, we can. Why don't we go to the sitting room? I can have someone bring up some snacks." Katara took slow deliberate steps back towards the door, putting space between them.

"No, Katara," Aang held his hands out towards her in supplication. "What I have to say to you is private."

"Aang, please-"

"Don't get married," he begged before Katara could get her request out. "Don't marry Zuko. I love you! I-I've loved you since the day we met. I waited a hundred years to find you. You and I...we're destiny, don't you see that?" Aang's chest heaved, and his heart raced. Katara had frozen in the middle of the room. Her eyes had widened in shock and her mouth moved up and down as she tried to find the words.

"You're doing this the night before my wedding?" she managed at last. "I've known you for ten years and you pick now to...to do this?"

"I know it's not ideal," Aang admitted. A faint blush stained his cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck. "But I couldn't let you go through with this. I had to say something before I lost my chance."

"Aang..." Katara stared up at him, shaking her head slowly. "This was not your chance. I'm getting married. I'm marrying Zuko tomorrow. I love him. Did you really think I was going to throw away our whole relationship because you decided that now would be a good time to put this on me?"

"Katara, I-"

"No! Aang, this is the most selfish thing you've ever done," there were tears in Katara's eyes now. "I thought we were friends. I thought you were Zuko's friend! How could you do this to us?"

"I haven't done anything to Zuko!" Aang insisted. "You were my friend first! I loved you first!"

"You don't have a claim on me because I met you first, Aang." The tears were falling faster now, but there was more anger than sadness in Katara's eyes.

"Katara, please," Aang pleaded. "Just hear me out. I know that Zuko has given you so much-" he gestured around the room, richly decorated with Water Tribe art, silks, and finely crafted wood furniture. "But I can give you all of this, too." Katara's eyes widened in shock.

"You think I'm with Zuko because he's rich?" Katara's voice rose angrily. "You think I'm that shallow?"

"No, no!" Aang backtracked as quickly as he could. "I just meant that-that I can take care of you, too."

"I don't need to be taken care of," Katara hissed. "I'm not a child. I'm not a pet. Zuko loves me and he respects me, and yeah, he shows his love with gifts sometimes, but if you think that's why I'm marrying him, you don't know me at all."

"That's not fair!" Aang reeled back as if he'd been slapped.

"No, what isn't fair is you coming here and trying to ruin everything! Zuko and I have built a life together. We've been together five years, Aang. Five. It was never going to be you, but you couldn't find time in five years to tell me this so we could talk it out and move on? You chose to do this the night before my wedding? That isn't fair!"

"It was never going to be me?" Aang shook his head in confusion. "I've been in love with you for ten years, and you never even thought to give me a chance? Why not?"

"I don't feel that way about you," Katara said. "I never have. Aang, I had to take care of you like a child. And that's fine because you were a child, but that kind of love doesn't just turn romantic." She pointed past Aang towards the balcony. "You need to leave."

Aang hesitated, half turned to the balcony doors, half facing Katara. He was at war with himself. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. He couldn't have felt what he felt for Katara for so long and be wrong about them. But he recognized the mulish set of her chin. Ten years had softened her quick temper, but it had done little for her stubbornness. There would be no reasoning with her. His heart wouldn't let him leave without cautioning her. It was the least he could do.

"You're making a mistake," he told her. "You may not see it now, but you've made the wrong choice. We were meant to be, but you're throwing it all away for-" Aang gestured at he didn't really know what. "One day you'll see that, but I won't be there for you when it happens. When he turns on you, or when being the Fire Lady loses its sparkle, and you wake up, I'll be gone forever, and you'll end up lonely and miserable, just like every other Fire Lady before you." With that, Aang spun on his heels and stormed off towards the balcony.

"Aang," Katara's voice was low and steady. Aang paused, his heart leaped with impossible hope. Then he turned to her. Katara's face was as hard and unyielding as the ice she grew up on. "Don't come tomorrow. You can make up whatever excuse you want, but if I see your face at my wedding, I'll make you regret it."

Aang gaped at her. He'd never been on the receiving end of this part of her. This wasn't anger. It was rage. Despite himself- despite having very nearly mastered the Avatar State- Aang felt a shiver of fear roll through him. Suddenly, he wasn't as sure as he'd been a moment ago about destiny and Katara's regrets. Katara gestured towards the open balcony doors with her chin.

"Goodbye." A dismissal. An ending. Aang left the room without another word and disappeared into the night.

[cjsinkythoughts]

Right From Left

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3085

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo being a punk, Bucky getting a little scary, some feelings, Sam being his fantastic, amazing, caring for everyone self

A/N: Here it is! At long last! I’ve been waiting for this episode and it was…holy fuck. I barely have words. And I can’t start or else I’ll be ranting for pages. Anyways, I know this Part is a little on the shorter side - not by much, but it still is - and it doesn’t even cover half the episode, but I’ve had a long day and I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep. I wanted to stop before Walker entered the picture too, because then I’m just gonna get more riled up and I’m working later. I’ll probably have another part out today, and then I’ll finish it tomorrow. Unless I can finish it today. I’ll try, but no promises.

Feel free to rant to me about the episode or the show, too, guys! My friends and I have been going back and forth about it for the past few hours. I’d love to hear your thoughts! I think that’s all for now.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS BELOW CUT!

You were avoiding him.

When you first got to Latvia, he had pulled you aside, eyes wide and pleading. “Doll, listen-”

“I really don’t think right now is the time to have the discussion we’re about to have.” Shaking your head, you avoided his gaze, your stomach twisting into knots. It was too much for you to handle; you couldn’t focus on the mission at hand and try to unravel the emotions that were making your gut flip like a gymnast. There were too many thoughts in your head, and you needed a clear mind.

“But-”

“Once this is all done, and our lives aren’t in danger. Once we’re back home, then we can talk, okay? Just…please. Not here. Not now.”

And he dropped it. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk about it. You just couldn’t. You had always been a ‘leave your baggage at the door’ type of person. Don’t mix work with personal. Not like you had much “personal” anyways when you first decided that was how it should be. And then your coworkers became family and your motto got a lot harder to follow. But you still followed it. And you would continue to follow it.

But that made you start avoiding him. Whether you meant to or not, everyone noticed, but no one said anything. Sam shot you a look when you didn’t offer to go with Bucky when he had to check something out. Zemo raised an eyebrow when he came back and, instead of immediately questioning him, you sat still on the couch, eyes glancing up briefly, before going back to playing with the strings of your hoodie.

You were paying attention to their conversation, especially when Karli Morgenthau was brought up, you just didn’t join in. Not even when Zemo mentioned the Avengers, eyeing you to see your reaction.

Honestly, you were tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your shoulder hurt, your brain couldn’t process what the guys were talking about, and your heart couldn’t take any more hits.

It was something you’d been thinking about…you just thought it’d come after this mission.

“She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her…or she kills you.”

“Maybe you’re wrong Zemo. The Serum never corrupted Steve.”

For the first time since he first walked in, your eyes met Bucky’s. “Touche.” Zemo pointed at Bucky with a pastry around his finger. “But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

But you couldn’t wait until after this mission. Not when he was so connected to it. “I think I’m gonna go home.” You blurted out before Zemo and Bucky could argue further, Bucky slumping down onto the opposite side of the couch.

The moment the words left your lips, Sam and Bucky shot up, staring at you in disbelief.

“Wait, hold up. What? Now? We’re so close-”

“Why? Is it your arm? Is it hurting? You should’ve told us-”

“I’m just tired.” You cut in, shaking your head. “That’s all. I didn’t expect this to be drawn out this long when you called, Sammy.”

Bucky’s hand twitched as he hesitatingly scooted closer to you. “Doll, if this is because what happened on the jet-”

“It’s not, Buck.” You tried to give him a convincing smile, but you knew by the look in his eyes that he didn’t buy it for one second. You reached over to squeeze his hand, and when you pulled back, he held on tighter, a sigh escaping his lips as he stared down at your linked hands.

“Okay…if you wanna go home, we can get you home. Just…” His head turned back to you, a pleading pout on his features. “Just…stay. Another day. Please. You can keep avoiding me, I won’t even say another word to you if you don’t want. But stay. Just for one more day.”

Chewing on your cheek, you finally nodded slightly. “Okay. One more day.”

His eyes lit up, before his face fell again when you took your hand back and curled into the corner of the couch. “Let’s talk shop, boys.”

“Okay. So, from my understanding, Donya is like a pillar of the community, right?” Sam easily changed the topic back to the situation at hand, giving you a reassuring wink when you smiled at him gratefully. “So when I was a kid, my Tee Tee passed away.”

Bucky screwed his face up in confusion, straightening his head from where he had it leaned back. “Your - your Tee Tee?”

Sam gave him a look. “Yeah. My-my Tee Tee, yeah.”

Bucky looked at him weirdly. “Who is your Tee Tee?”

The exchange made you giggle a little bit, shaking your head. “Bucky’s a city boy from the 40’s, remember, Sammy?”

“Fine.” Sam rolled his eyes. “When I was a kid my aunt passed away.”

Bucky gave a slight huff, making you chuckle again. You stopped when he smiled over at you, but your grin didn’t leave your face. Even when they were the ones to give you a headache, your fellas were damn entertaining, that’s for sure.

With a sort-of plan in place - the gathering for Donya being no more than a theory, but the only idea you really had - you stretched out from your spot on the couch, twisting to crack your back. “Zemo.” The man stopped his rummaging through the cabinets and looked over his shoulder at you, an eyebrow raised. “Go put some clothes on. We’ve got work to do.”

He gave you an unimpressed look, opening his mouth, but Sam beat him to the punch. “Do as the lady says, man. You’re already walking on a tightrope after you shot Nagel!” Zemo waved dismissively at Sam’s exclamation, heading into a separate room to change out of his robe. “That guy is gonna drive me up the wall.”

“Don’t let him get to that pretty head of yours, Sammy.” You hummed, standing up, wincing slightly as you stretched your sore shoulder over your head.

You could tell Bucky wanted to say something, the way he snapped forwards, hands moving down his thigh like he was leaning over to reach for you, his eyes locked on your injured joint, but, just as he said earlier, he didn’t say a word. But the part that made you upset was…you didn’t stop him. You didn’t tell him it was okay for him to talk to you. You didn’t reassure him that you weren’t purposely trying to avoid him. You simply moved over to the kitchen to get something to drink.

It hurt worse than your shoulder, but you couldn’t handle it. Not then. Not with such an important part of the mission coming up. So you didn’t say anything. You just sipped your water, switching into tactic mode as your mind ran through the scenarios of what could possibly go down in the next 24 hours before you went home.

*************************

Walking under the arch, you couldn’t help but feel saddened as Zemo told you about what the courtyard used to look like. Thanos messed the world up so much more than you realized and, as much as you hated to admit it, the Avengers did have a part in it. Not that they - you - were in the wrong, necessarily. You truly believed you did what anyone in that situation, with the skills and abilities and knowledge the team had, would do what you did. Or tried to do.

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs.” Sam stated, looking up at the upper stories of the building, before glancing at Bucky. “See what you can find out here. And keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll come with you.” You said, turning on your heel to follow Sam. The back of Bucky’s gloved hand brushed against yours, and instinctually you turned your palm to link your fingers and squeezing. You let go quickly once you realized what you were doing, nearly tripping up the stairs to get to Sam, not daring to wait for Bucky’s reaction.

“You’re an idiot.” He stated simply as soon as you met him at the top of the stairs.

“Can we focus on finding Donya right now, please?” You grumbled, moving forwards cautiously, peeking around the corner. You frowned when you saw two guys at the end of the hallway, looking back at you and Sam warily.

“You need to hear what he has to say, cher.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I know I do. I know. But I can’t. Not right now. I’m just trying to get this over with first. I don’t want too many things on my plate. I might choke.” It already felt like you were drowning most nights.

He paused at your words, giving you a once over, before nodding. “Okay. I can respect that.”

“Thank you.” You told him earnestly. “Now let’s try to get something from these people.”

He nodded in agreement and you two continued forwards with your search. Room after room, people walked out before you could get anything from them, locking doors behind them. The Flag Smashers logo was everywhere, but you expected nothing less from a refugee camp that practically worshipped what they were doing.

Even when you did get a guy to talk to you, he immediately shut you down, leaving you and Sam dejected. The fact that the world had gotten so bad that these people couldn’t trust you and Sam - Avengers; people who used to be heroes and bring hope to others - it made your heart sink.

“C’mon, Y/N.”

“Are we wrong?”

He froze at your question, his lips pressing together. “About what, exactly?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…I guess I can’t tell right from left anymore. I always assumed that the Avengers were the good guys. That the actions we’ve taken in the past were us making the world a better place, but…Sokovia and Ultron. Germany and the whole civil war thing we had going on. The entire world and Thanos. We don’t truly ever win. Do we?”

“I can’t answer that for you.” Sam shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to believe or who to believe in. But I can tell you that we’ve made a difference. Steve, Nat, Tony…they made a difference.”

“But was it a good difference? Was it a change? There’s a difference between changing the world and just making it different, Sam.”

He blinked at you, nodding slowly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. And I don’t have that answer for you either. But they tried. They did what they thought was right. No matter if it was or not. And isn’t that all we can do? Try?”

His words made you think back to the conversation you had with Bucky once he learned about John Walker, which seemed so long ago. When you told him it wasn’t Sam’s fault. That he was just trying. That he did what he thought was right. 

And maybe he was wrong. But he made a decision. It was his decision. To do the right thing. And right then, not for the first time, you could see exactly what Steve saw in the man in front of you.

“You’re a good man, Sam.”

Sam grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulders and squeezing. “And you’re an incredible person, Y/N. Let’s go see if Bucky and the Baron got anything.”

You snickered at his mocking tone towards Zemo and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

*****************************

You didn’t like it. You didn’t like it one bit. So far, Zemo kept proving you wrong. Even when it seemed like he was about to jump ship, he came back. No matter how many opportunities he had to escape, he never did. And it was making you even more suspicious.

You stayed out of Bucky and Sam’s conversation, although you had to agree with Sam’s point, especially with the conversation you just had.

Your thoughts were running a thousand miles a minute, only to be interrupted by Zemo information about the funeral this afternoon. Guess a snake will always be a snake.

“And you, uh, didn’t think this was important information?” You questioned, eyes narrowed and brow pinched.

He shrugged. “You have it now, don’t you, princess?”

Bucky growled at the nickname, leaning back on the couch, threatening Zemo with the Dora Milaje.

You can’t remember a time you’ve ever been scared of Bucky. Maybe a little threatened and intimidated by the Winter Soldier, but never scared of Bucky. And when he stood up after Zemo mentioned leverage, you didn’t expect anything from it; maybe another choke hold or something. So the glass hitting the wall, the clench in his jaw as he spoke gruffly to the Baron, for a mere second, he kind of frightened you. Maybe it was all the emotions you’d been through the past few weeks or maybe it was the adrenaline that seemed to be pulsing through your veins 24/7 nowadays. Whatever it was, it made you flinch, bolting up as Sam did.

You left the room quickly, hearing Sam say something about making a call, hoping to calm your racing heart.

“Doll?” You sat up from the bed you were laying on, legs hanging off the edge. Bucky stood in the doorway, nervously shifting his feet. “I know I said I’d leave you alone, but…”

You gave the bed a pat next to you and he gladly accepted the invitation, padding over to sit besides you. “I don’t want you to leave me alone, Buck. You’re my best friend. I-I just need to take it one thing at a time right now.”

He nodded. “I get it. I wasn’t…I wasn’t coming in to talk to you about that. You said we’ll talk about it later, so we’ll talk about it later.”

“I appreciate that, Bucky.” You smiled at him, before frowning. “What did you wanna talk about then? Are you okay?”

“Did I…did I scare you?”

You blinked at his question, tilting your head. “What?”

Jerking his head to the doorway he explained, “just then. With Zemo. Your heart spiked.”

“No.” You answered immediately. You would never ever admit that he kind of did scare you. It was just for a second and you knew how his brain worked; he’d beat himself up over it, go over his actions for hours instead of getting the rest he so desperately needs and deserves. He didn’t need that on his conscience right now. “I wasn’t - I just…you startled me. I wasn’t expecting that reaction-”

“I didn’t like the way he talked to you.” He spat out, glaring at his hands in his lap. “And then the smug bastard thought he was gonna get away with holding back information like that and I just…I dunno.”

His hand came off his thigh, but he hesitated. Before he could put it down again, you slipped your hand under his, linking your fingers, running your thumb in circles against his palm. “Don’t let him get to you, Buck. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

A sigh left his lips and he nodded. “I know, I know. It’s just…hard. After everything he put me through - put us through - I…I just hate that he’s really our only option.”

You frowned, shifting on the bed to face him, one leg bending beneath you while the other still hung over. “Why are you so obsessed with catching these guys?”

“I wanna do something right.” He murmured, playing with your fingers. “I’ve done so much wrong…I just wanna do something right. And I feel...responsible for it, I guess. In a way. It’s Super Soldier Serum. I thought I was the only one after Steve…” He froze at the blonde’s mention, giving you a side-eyed glance. You nudged him, silently telling him to continue, that it was okay to talk about him. “And Sam’s right, you know. She’s just a kid. So…I dunno. I wanna help. I wanna do something right. And catching them would help. It’s right. Right?”

You nodded firmly. “I understand where they’re coming from. Karli’s just trying to help the world. But she’s doing it wrong. And that I know for absolute certainty. Which is good, I guess. I was talking to Sam early and I mentioned not knowing my right from my left recently. It’s good I know something, huh? And for you it should be easy telling your right from your left.” You joked, tracing the gold lines on his metal arm. “I guess you’re just gonna have to stay besides me to help me remember.”

Looking up, you found Bucky staring at you with something you recognized in his eyes, but didn’t want to name. “Three hours, forty two minutes and thirty one seconds.”

“What?”

“That’s how long I didn’t talk to you. It was too long.”

You sighed, ducking your head. “Bucky, I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry. For anything and everything I’ve ever done wrong. I won’t mention the plane or anything we’ve talked about until you bring it up first. I promise. Just…just don’t ignore me anymore? I'm not sure I can handle it for much longer.”

You nodded, watching your fingertips dance along his scruffy jaw. “I won’t.” He caught your wrist, opening his mouth, before shaking his head and closing it. “What?”

He shook his head again. “Not until you bring it up.”

“We will talk, James. I promise.”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I really do. It’s okay. As long as we’re okay for right now, I can hold it in a bit longer.”

You nearly asked him what he was holding in, but you quickly shoved the question out of your mind, knowing it would take you down a conversation you couldn’t possibly have right then. “How long do you think we have?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Zemo just said that it’s this afternoon. Why?”

“I started reading The Great Gatsby on the plane. I’ve got it on my phone. It kinda reminds me of you. Do you-do you think we have time to read some? Only if you want, I mean. Like we used to do in Wakanda?”

He grinned and nodded, scooting up on the bed and flopping down into the pillows. You smiled back, following his lead. Once you were comfortable, your phone out with the chapter you were on, Bucky scooted closer, laying his head on your stomach, hugging your waist. 

“Is this okay?”

Your fingers found home in his hair and you nodded when he looked up at you for an answer. “Yeah. It’s perfect, Buckaroo.”